Violentine- Forever and Always

Saying I Love You Too Late

A/N: So this is what I wrote for the No Dialogue challenge that I took place in.

Violet's Pov:

I sat there at the kitchen table as the amber liquid stared back at me from my glass. It only made me think about her more as my drink matched the color of her honey golden eyes that I missed so much. I wish the whiskey would make her miss me like I wish she did.

I lift the small glass and watch as the liquid swirls at the movement, a lot like the thoughts that fill my mind before I throw my head back and down the last of it. I enjoy the burning sensation I receive from the shot. It makes me have some sense of feeling, but it's not enough to drown the memory. I don't think anything ever could.

I've been sitting here for over two hours in the dim light of the kitchen, just letting the thoughts roll over and over in my mind as I stare at a half-empty glass that keeps getting refiled. Tenn went to bed a few hours ago without a word, wanting to be alone. I know the change was a lot for him too. He kind of lost his only friend in the mix of all this and all because I couldn't say three little words.

I feel disappointed at the emptiness of my glass and I look across the table where an almost empty bottle lies. Pouring up another one won't change what I should have done before she left, but it's sure one hell of a good distraction. I tip the bottle and watch the amber drink pool into the glass which I find kind of soothing to watch. It'd be even better if it could make me forget what happened earlier today. Sadly the sweet burning sensation wasn't enough to cloud my mind and take away the pain I feel inside.

I don't know if anything could at this point. This wasn't your normal run of the mill crush who ends up breaking up with you after about three months into the relationship. I thought what we had was real. I've never felt more complete than when she came into my life. But then I had to go and fuck everything up because I wasn't brave enough to tell her how I really feel. I fucking deserve what I got.

How long has it even been since we've started dating? Two, three years? And I still haven't let myself say it. I've been so worried to commit to this after getting hurt so many other times, that I was blinded by my own fear, not realizing that I was losing her anyway. Now all that was left of mine and Clem's relationship was mile by mile and city by city of her getting over me. It's not a pretty feeling to have the most important person in your world walk out the door and disappear down the road to who knows where.

Honestly, I deserve to suffer after making her endure that, but Tenn sure didn't. Not only did we lose Clem, but AJ went with her as well. Which is understandable since their family, but it's not fair to the boys that they had to be separated when they never did anything wrong. Why should they have to suffer the conciseness of our mistakes?

Clem didn't even think twice before she hopped in her car with AJ and took off with only a backpack full of their things. AJ and Tenn didn't even get to say goodbye before they were whisked away, like smoke in the wind.

It's been hours since she last left. Just took off without a destination in mind or what they would do next. Now she's probably out there rolling down some old interstate because I couldn't make her stay. She's probably thankful to be free from my crushing oppression, cranking up some new freedom song. Which is why she won't pick up her phone. I've tried to text her back and apologize, but she won't respond to anything I've written. My only shot is to send the one thing I've been neglectful to say, but I doubt it could clear up the damage that's already been done.

I open up my phone and stare down at the screen to the spot I left it, with my messages still open and Clem's contact name up in the corner of the screen mocking me. I have three words typed at the bottom that sit and wait to be set free with the press of a button. But my thumb lingers above it in hesitation. I couldn't say it then, so how is this any better? Would she even care at this point?