Wretched Choices

Chapter 34

#WretchedChoicesWP

Chapter 34
Tear

Kahit na kalmado na ang aking puso at isipan, hindi ko alam kung bakit mas lalong bumuhos ang aking mga luha nang makita siya sa aking harapan ngayon. I didn't know why he was always showing up at the right time. Para bang alam na alam niya kung kailan ko kailangan ng taong masasandalan, makakasama at makakausap. Even when I wasn't a damsel who needed saving, he would still look for an opportunity to become my knight.

Dahil sa muling pagbuhos ng aking luha ay nagkukumahog si Archer na lumapit sa akin.

I didn't have a problem fitting myself inside the playhouse because of my slender figure, but it became too cramped when Archer got in. Kahit magsiksikan kaming dalawa sa loob ay pinilit niya pa rin ang sarili niyang makapasok para lamang mayakap ako.

At first, I was too stunned because of his sudden movement, pero unti-unti ring guminhawa ang pakiramdam ko nang hinayaan ko ang sarili kog dumepende sa kanya. My body was now resting against him, and he changed into a position which was more comfortable for the both of us. Nang dahil sa aming kumportableng posisyon ay lumuwag na rin ang loob ng munting bahay-bahayan.

Tahimik akong lumuluha habang nasa bisig ni Archer. He just let me release the heavy feeling inside me by crying in his arms like a baby.

After there were no more tears left, I slowly pulled away from his embrace but his arm was still snaked around my waist. Bumalik lang ako sa dati kong puwesto kanina. I gathered my knees again and placed my chin on it as I stabilized my breathing.

Kanina ay habang umiiyak, nakalimutan ko sa mga sandaling 'yon kung bakit ako umiiyak. Tears just kept on flowing out of me like it was almost impossible to stop. At ngayon, muli na naman akong nalagay sa posisyon kung saang parang wala na akong nararamdaman. Like each drop of tear I released was letting go of a portion of pain that I was feeling inside. And now that I'd dried out my tears, I was already feeling numb.

"Are you feeling better now?" Archer asked after a minute of silence.

I pursed my lips while trying so hard to decipher my emotions. "I don't know..." I said when I failed. "I can't feel anything..."

Before, I thought being numb was better than feeling the pain and getting hurt. But now, I've come to a realization that it was actually frightening. You wouldn't know when those bottled up feelings would burst or worst—it might creep into you at a very undesirable time which could caught you off guard, like a poison spreading onto your veins, slowly killing you and leaving you breathless.

"Then, do you want to talk about it?"

I didn't answer.

Hindi ko alam kung gusto ko bang pag-usapan o kung mas mabuting sarilihin ko na lang ito.

"I know what happened..."

Sa gulat ay unti-unti kong hinayaan ang sariling lingunin si Archer. Ang kanyang mga matang nangungusap ay agad na bumati sa akin. His eyes were so transparent about his feelings that I saw his sincere concern for me.

"I happened to see your mother running after you," he continued. "She looked lost and in great pain... just like how I found you earlier."

Undesirably, the image of my crying mother flashed inside my head. Muling nag-iinit ang puso ko dahil sa pagbabalik ng aking emosyon.

"Sinabi niya sa akin kung ano ang nangyari," sabi niya. "She really wanted to follow you, but she's also scared that you might push her away because you're mad at her... That's why I volunteered to run after you instead."