Wretched Choices

Chapter 37

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Chapter 37
Friendship

My mind was haywired after that night. I kept on going back to our conversation which would make me look like I was not in the right mind as I caught myself staring into space from time to time.

"Kung ako ba ang manghihingi ng permiso na manligaw, papayag ka ba?"

Due to shock, my lips trembled and I couldn't grasp any word other than his name. "A-Archer..."

He smiled apologetically. "Pasensya na. Nabigla ata kita."

No... I wasn't just shocked. Other than that, I was happy and confused which led my heart to feel this kind of pain which was not appropriate for what I was currently feeling.

Hindi dapat ako nakakaramdam ng sakit, 'di ba? Dapat ay masaya lang ako nang dahil sa sinabi niya, pero bakit mayroong kirot sa aking puso?

"Alam kong hindi pa ako nakakahingi ng tawad sa'yo nang maayos noong nasaktan kita dahil sa pagtatanggol ko kay Hope. I admitted I was wrong. I jumped into conclusion right away instead of trying to hear you out just because someone told me that you were hurting her that time..." Natigil siya at saka umiling. "Hindi ko na dapat sinasabi 'to. Ayokong lumabas na nagdadahilan lang ako kaya manghihingi na lang ako ng tawad at aaminin na nagkamali ako. I'm sorry for being such a hypocrite and a jerk."

Umiling ako, namumutawi pa rin ang mga salita sa aking labi.

Things were all better now and there was no point to bring up the past once again. Pero siguradong hindi kayang bitawan ni Archer 'yon basta-basta kahit na higit pa sa nagawa niyang mali ang ginawa niyang pagbawi. I saw his effort to make it all easy for me as much as possible.

"Archer, wala na 'yon—"

"No, please..." He cut me off. "I know how much I hurt you so, I just don't want to forget that and act like it didn't happen that's why I'm asking for your forgiveness."

Exhaling a deep breath, I smiled. "If you're asking for forgiveness, I wouldn't hesitate to give you that, Archer. I mean it."

He held my stare with his puppy eyes, looking like a child who was trying to make amends with his parents by looking and acting cute. I found it hard for me to not pinch his cheeks even though there was no cheek fat to pinch.

"You've been by my side all this time," I continued. "Sa tingin mo ba, hahayaan kitang manatili sa tabi ko kung hindi pa kita napapatawad? You know I won't, Archer. So, if you want my words as an assurance then, I'll tell you right here, right now that I already forgave you."

When he smiled, his eyes lit up brighter than the moon and stars combined. He pulled me closer to him and locked me in his embrace.

"Thank you for forgiving me," he said softly and let go of me right away. "But I won't pressure you too much tonight."

Noong una ay hindi ko pa maintindihan kung saan nanggaling ang kanyang huling sinabi, ngunit nang maalala ko ay muling nag-init ang aking pisngi.

"It took long for me to realize and understand my feelings that I love you and I want to court you, too," he said it so casually without batting an eye. "But as what I heard earlier, it seemed like you're not yet ready so, I'm going to wait as well. For now, your forgiveness is more than enough for me."

We separated that night ending on that note. Just like Jerome, Archer also didn't want to rush me.

Sa totoo niyan, kahit alam ko sa sarili kong may nararamdaman ako para kay Archer, hindi rin ako agad makapagdesisyon. Maybe it was because I didn't want Jerome to feel bad. I didn't want to look like a hypocrite. It felt like it wasn't the right time yet and I also didn't want to rush things.