Secret Love (Boyxboy) (l.s)

Chapter 2

APRIL 13, 2014

"Mr. Styles, you may go."

I walk inside and take a seat in my chair . It's been a week since I've spoken to Anne about him. Though it hurt like hell to talk, I suppose it was nice to get lost in the memories. Of us.  Fuck.

"Harry, how've you been?" She asks. She's dressed in a pale blue sweater, adorning her eyes, and khakis.

"Well, I suppose the answer you wish to hear is, 'I'm fantastic,' but the honest answer is miserable."

"I want you to be honest with me, Harry. Why aren't you doing well? " she asks kindly.

"Because I miss him. I miss us, the memories of us."

"Would you like to tell me more about the two of you?" She asks.

"Doesn't matter. You'll just judge us like they all do."

"I hold no  judgement whatsoever, Harry. He sounds like a lovely person."

"He was."

MAY 8, 2010

I walked up to his door and knocked. It was our first proper date.  I remember not giving a fuck about what I looked like, even though it was the first time I was ever going to meet his parents. I wore what I always wore. Black tee, black skinny jeans. Hair pushed from my face with just my hands.

A woman opened the door. She was middle aged, blonde hair. She bore little resemblence to Lou. Except her eyes, she had the same blue grey eyes. She wore a pale pink sweater and khakis, expensive looking jewels adorning her neck.

"Hello, I'm Linda, Louis's mum. And you must be Harry."

I did my best not to roll my eyes at her and shook her outstretched hand. The house was huge, to say the least.

"Louis said you met at support group."

"Ye- I mean,  Yes ma'am, that's right."

"And how did the two of you become friends?"

Friends?

"We just started talking one day. We're a little more than just-"

"Mum, I see you've met Harry," Louis rushed down the stairs to save the mess he made from exploding further.

"Yes, dear. You were saying?" She turned to me.

"Nothing." I said. I knew Louis hadn't told her and honestly, it pissed me the fuck off.

I grabbed his arm, a little too roughly, and pulled him out the door,  his mum shouting at us to have a good night.

We walked out to my car and I shut the door, trying my hardest to keep calm.

"What the fuck was that?" I yelled.

"Look, Harry. I'm so-"

"No. No, you don't get to apologise.  You tell me how much I fucking mean to you and then tell your goddamn parents I'm a friend? How the fuck is that okay? "

"I know it's not okay, but you don't underst-" he started again.

"I don't understand? Really? Because I seem to understand fairly well in my opinion. You're either embarrassed of me or you've just been feeding me lies about the way you feel. For what? Am I just some toy to you? Is it a thrill to be with a guy? Or anyone?"

I knew I had hurt him, but I didn't care. I intended to hurt him as he had hurt me.

"Let me out," he finally said, calmly. Too calmly.

"No, you're not running away from this, you coward!" I screamed.

"You know what? You're right, I am a coward!" He screamed, "I'm a coward because my parents are too prime and proper and far too fond of their own reputation to ever allow me to be with you. So if I told them we were friends, I wouldn't have to worry about them asking too many questions. I could spend time with you, nights with you and they wouldn't care. So, Yes, Harry I guess I am a coward. But I am a coward who is far too fond of you to let my parents ruin us."

The rest of the car ride was silent. I think that's what I remember most. The silence. I didn't know what to say.

After a while of driving, we'd ended up getting lost. I just rented us some shit hotel. We walked inside and the scent of moth balls filled my nostrils.

He walked over to me,  and he softly placed his hand along my face. I had flinched,  my anger still settling.

"You are so beautiful, " he whispered.

My eyes fluttered shut for a moment until I recollected myself.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you the way that I did."

"I know," he said.

"You're a hell of a lot to deal with."

"I know, " he said again.

I took off my shirt and pants and laid down in the bed. I could tell he was lenient,  but eventually he laid down in front of me, his head on my chest.

"I don't want to be a secret from your parents, but I can understand why you did what you did," I said.

He stayed silent, falling asleep.

"You could've told me, though."

"I know, Haz,  I'm sorry," he mumbled.

I kissed his forehead.

"It's alright, Louis. I just don't ever want to lose you."

"You won't, I promise," he said.

I stayed awake for a while after Lou had gone to sleep. And right before I, myself, drifted off, I whispered to him, "I love you, Louis."

HEY GUYS SO I KNOW I AM SHIT FOR NOT UPDATING BUT I SWEAR ILL TRY TO BE BETTER. IM GETTING SURGERY IN A WEEK SO IVE BEEN BUSY. LOVE YALL.

-ME