Secret Love (Boyxboy) (l.s)

Chapter 12

MAY 29, 2010

That night was the best night of my life. I spent most of it inside Louis and the rest next to him. But I think it's times like those, when I was lying in bed next to the one I loved most in the world that I realised how lucky I was to have loved him. He was this creature, this boy, with so much life left in him. He saw, I think, the world the way it really was. He ignored the bad things, the kidnappings, the debt, and dying. Instead, he saw for what it should have been. Mothers never losing their daughters, neighbors helping each other out, love never ceasing. I wish I had that ability. To see what it should have been, not what was. Maybe then, I could have saw myself next to Louis, even after he was gone.

I was asked once if I believed in soulmates. I rudely said "Fuck no" of course. But the more I studied his blue eyes and tan skin, the closer I was drawn to the thought. Soulmates do exist, I'm sure of it. I just think that some aren't lucky enough to meet theirs. I was, though. I met my soulmate, and he was lying next to me, snuggled impossibly close. I was brought back to my thoughts. Soulmates. The one you are meant to love. The one person, whether they be in your Geometry class, or across the world, that you are supposed to fall in love with. That love is supposed to be eternal. Was mine?

I wondered also if Louis' mum had a point. If maybe I was wrong for Lou. Maybe he was supposed tp fall in love with some girl at his fancy job, get married and have beautiful babies. What if? The great What If? Perhaps Louis is my soulmate, but I am not his. Perhaps he was meant to love someone else as much as I loved him.

He stired in his sleep and peered up at me with the eyes I had grown to fall in love with.

"What are you thinking about?" he whispered.

"You," I said.

"All good things?" he giggled.

"Mostly," I teased, "Baby, did you ever think that maybe your mum was right about me? Being bad for you?"

"Harry Styles. She was right. You are horrible. You never clean and you curse constantly. God, how you have corrupted me. You are absolutely bad. But you are not bad for me. I love you, Harry."

"Do you believe in soulmates, Hazz?"

I chuckled to myself at my inside joke.

"Yeah, I do," I said.

"We are soulmates. I was meant to love you, Harry. And you were meant to love me, right?" He asked.

"Right," I said, reassuring myself and him.

"So, what do you want to do today?" he asked me, curiosity brewing in his wild eyes.

A pang of nostlagia hit me as I realised that this was the last day we had together. The last day I would hold him in my arms. The last day I would wake up next to him.'

"Would it be completely innapropriate to just lie here and fuck all day?"

"YES. It would! Harry Edward Styles, I cannot fathom the filth that has come out of your mouth,' he gasped in a faux way.

"Hmm, my mouth. I'll bet you like what my mouth can do, huh?"

He blushed a deep crimson and hid underneath the covers. His giggles erupted throughout the room as my finger assaulted a merciless attack on his stomach. 

"HARRY STOP IT!" he screamed.

"Or else?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Or else, Mr. Inquisitor, I will not let you near my arse ever again."

My jaw dropped, stunned at what he had said.

"See, I can be naughty, too,'

"You wouldn't dare," I said.

"Try me," he beamed.

"Don't mind if I do," I said and locked my lips quickly and hungrily with his. My tongue intruded his mouth skillfully as my hands grabbed needing at his hair. I tugged at the long strands and he moaned.

"Please, Hazz," he whimpered.

"Please what, love?"

"Fuck me," he begged.

"Nope, sorry. I do not respond well to threats."

I got up and walked back to the kitchen to make breakfast. I settled for waffles and got out the mix. He came in dressed with his bag packed. I think he tried to hide it, not ruin the day knowing that it would have to end, but it didn't work. I saw the bag that ruined my life.

I stirred the mix and poured it into the waffle iron, singing under my breath. 

After eating breakfast, Lou and I spent the day in, watching films and telling stories about life. 

As the night approached, I grew more and more dismayed. Louis was leaving. And for a long while. I would miss him, undecribeably. As we lied on the bed a meer hour away from when he had to leave, he looked up at me.

"Please, Harry. Make love to me," he whispered.

I nodded, not chastising him any further. I pulled my shirt off, and undoing the fly of my jeans, stalked back onto the bed. I gently pulled his shirt over his head, his pants following. He grasped the sides of my pants, as well as my Calvin Kleins, and pulled them down. He lifted his hips, assissting my in shedding him of his pants. I opened him up and smeared the lube I had gotten before I took his pants off on him and me. I entered him swiflty and slammed in and out ruthlessly.

"Ah, fuck, Harry."

"Are you okay?" I panted.

"Yes," he breathed.

"Fuck, Lou," I moaned loudly as I spilled into him and he clenched around me calling my name.

__________________________________________________________________

"I'll miss you, Harry," Lou whispered as I helped him get his things into his car. 

"I will miss you, too, Lou. More than you will ever know."

"I don't..... Look, Hazz. I love you, okay? Please don't ever forget how much I love you. I am sorry."

The tears streamed down his face and I opened my mouth to interject, but he raised his hands to my lips to stop me.

"Let me finish. If I do not now, I never will. You're so strong, Harry. Stronger than I will ever be. And I am sorry that you had to love me. I am sorry that your soulmate had to be me and I am sorry my mum is an arse. I want you to know how much I love you, Harry. I have never known a love so deep and so pure, I've never even read about it, let alone felt it, but it's true. I love you so goddamn much. It consumes me, completely. If we met in a different life, I would marry you and we would love eachther infinetely, forever. Every fiber in my being is telling me right now to stay, but I know that I can't. What if we weren't here, now? Then, things would be perfect. I can't love you like you need me to. I am sorry for that. But know that I love you, and I will see you again someday."

"Lou-"

"No, please. Just say you know. Say that you  love me, and kiss me. But don't you dare tell me goodbye."

"I know, Lou. I love you."

I walked him in the car, and after wiping my shirtsleeve under his eyes, I kissed him hard and passionately.

As he drove off, I stared at the car, tears rushing down my face in an onslought. 

"I love you, baby," I whispered.

HEY GUYS! IM SORRY THIS WASNT THE BEST OF UPDATES BUT SMUT??? ANYWHO, I LOVE YOU ALL UNCONDITIONALLY AND AS THE BOOK COMES TO AN END, I AM FEELING SAD. I LOVE YOU AND IF YOU GOT THE ED SHEERAN REFERENCE COMMENT BECAUSE HE IS MY HOME DOG. LOVE YOU AGAIN AND IM CURRENTLY BROKE BECAUSE ONE DIRECTION AND FANGIRLING BECAUSE LARRY. MUAH

-A