𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞 | 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞

Chapter 16

Finn

I get two texts from people who are looking to buy as I'm on my way to Mom's. I ignore them, and toss my cell in the passenger seat of Josh's car. I'm not in the mood to deal with it right now. They'll still be there after I check on Mom.

Fuck. I can't believe I left my cell last night. I don't do that. It's always on me and I went a whole night without realizing it wasn't there.

It could have been a whole lot worse and I wouldn't have been there.

I accidentally grind the gears on Josh's piece of shit. I'm shaking as bad as Millie was last night which is completely screwed up.

I pull into Mom's apartment complex and park. Little kids are running around the place, right outside her window and I want to tell them to chill out because she might be resting, but I don't. I know she always says she likes hearing the little kids play.

"Hey. How ya doin'?"

I ask when I get inside. She's sitting in her wheelchair, in her robe even though it's warm in here.

"I told you, you didn't have to come over, Finn, but I'm glad to see you." She gives me a smile and I lean over and kiss her bald head.

"Most people are." I wonder sometimes if she knows I'm faking it with her. If she knows I'm disintegrating inside, but just don't say anything.

"You shouldn't try to get out of bed by yourself, Mom."

A twenty-one year-old shouldn't have to scold their own parent. There's something really fucked up about this situation.

"It was just a fall."

"You can't afford to hurt yourself."

She sighs. "I'm dying anyway. Sometimes, I just want to do it with a little bit of dignity. A woman should be able to get out of bed by herself."

My hands tighten into a fist. Yes, I know she's fucking dying, but that doesn't mean I want to hear her say it. It doesn't mean something wild and crazy can't happen. Millie thought her mom bailed on her and she hadn't. Maybe the opposite can happen here. People get better all the time.

Which I know is a lie. It won't happen, but damn I want to pretend.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It's been a bad day." Mom closes her eyes and I immediately feel like shit. She doesn't have a lot of bad days. She's optimistic. The cup is half full, sunshine and flowers and I try to act like I agree, but really I'm pissed someone dumped out half of my drink.

"It's okay. It's not your fault. I was up late helping this girl last night so I'm on edge."

At that she opens her eyes and looks at me and I realize my mistake. I don't mention girls in front of her, probably because I don't do more than screw around with them. Now I brought up Millie (which is fucked up in itself) and she's going to latch onto that.

Maybe I should give her something to latch on to.

I scratch that idea because we're already too tied together. Our lives are becoming too intertwined and that's the last thing either of us need right now. We're both too screwed up for that. She'll end up okay though. People like her always are.

"Is this a girl you're...?"

"No." I turn away from her.

"Are you sure? Why won't you look at me, Finn?"

I hear the smile in her voice and it makes me want to do the same. It isn't often she's able to give me a real one—with happiness and hope and it's about a fucking lie because there is nothing real going on with Millie.