𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞 | 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞

Chapter 19

Millie

My sleep is unbroken for only the second time since I found out about mom. It feels good to get a full night. Not to be chased and plagued by nightmares that make me feel weak. Of memories I can't change, and questions I'll probably never have answers to.

I can't believe Finn asked me to go see his mom. I wonder if he meant it. If it will be one of those things people say when they're too drunk to know better, and try to forget afterward. It's what I'm assuming. I don't know how I feel about it either way so in some aspects, it would be easier if he forgets.

It felt good to be asked though. I wonder why he did. I know it couldn't have been something he wanted, which means somehow his mom knows about me. What did he tell her? That I'm the reason he was late the other day? Some messed up girl he's messing around with?

But not really. I'm the girl he's supposed to be having fun with, but we really haven't done much.

Finn's hand grips my waist and squeezes. Not too tight, but strong enough that I know he's there. That he's awake. My heart speeds up and I breathe harder.

"No more games. I want you," he says into my ear. His breath is warm. His whole body is as he molds against my back. I feel his erection as he nudges against me.

"Roll over, Millie."

I do what he says and his mouth comes down on mine. It's more urgent and needy than all our other kisses combined.

"I thought beer didn't taste good the next day?" I ask when his mouth moves down to my neck.

"No time." Finn licks my collarbone and then sucks my flesh into this mouth. I moan and arch toward him.

He's putting up the barriers again. I know it, but I don't care. We need them there so both of us remember exactly what this is about.

So both of us are able to forget.

Finn pushes my shirt up and I lift so he can get it over my head. I want it gone. Nothing between us because his hands feel so good on me. When he touches me I don't think of anything else. Don't feel anything else and all I need is that reprieve.

My bra comes next. I don't have time to feel embarrassed because his hot, wet mouth covers my nipple and again all there is, is Finn.

I tighten a hand in his curls, fisting it, not sure if I'm trying to pull him closer because I need more or pushing him away because it's too much.

He groans. From my pulling his hair or because I feel as good to him or he does to me, I don't know and I don't care. I let my other hand slide down the smooth plane of his back, under his boxer-briefs and cup him.

"Fuck," He rasps and moves against my center. He curses too much and I want to tell him, but I don't think I can form words right now. He's so hard, nudged between my legs and rubbing me just right.

And then he's gone and I miss the weight on top of me. Finn's looking down at me with those dark, dark eyes, his curls even more tousled then I've ever seen it.

"Are you sure?" he confirms. I almost smile because he asked. He's so hard and rough, but he has this caring side I don't know if he realizes is there.

I'm not sure it's a good thing that it's there, so I say, "I'm smart enough to know what I want."

Without a word he climbs off the bed. I watch the sinewy muscles of his back move as he walks to his dresser, opens the top drawer and pulls out a condom.

Nerves suddenly sneak their way in. I've only ever been with Jacob. I only planned to be with him because we worked and he gave me what I needed, but now, even though I know more than anything I want Finn, it scares me.