What is Needed But Unexpected

longing

Katherine awoke slightly confused and panicked to why she couldn't move, until she remembered where she had fallen asleep and that the person holding her was Jane. She thought once of removing herself from the embrace, but decided against it after just a few minutes of consideration.

After all, she could be selfish for a little while, right? Especially since it wasn't really hurting anyone. Even with that mindset, however, guilt at wanting to remain in the woman's arms rose inside her. 

I shouldn't. She has her family back…She just was so nice because she felt the need to take care of someone. It's the same reason she insists on doing a lot of the house work herself.

She thought, trying to swallow the knot that began to swell in her throat at the thought and quickly began to berate herself for getting used to everyone's affection, especially Jane's. 

Why would she can about her now that she had her son back?

Katherine curled closer to the woman despite these thoughts, closing her eyes as she tried to just focus on the warmth of being held, of someone just caring. She had only felt this kind of safety from one person in the past and it made her ashamed to think that perhaps—in some way—Jane had sort of reminded her of that.

When had she started seeing Jane—of all people—like that? How Could she? That was crossing a line and she knew that. She had done it again, let her emotions get the best of her. Wasn't it her longing for someone to actually care about her unconditionally what had landed her in trouble the first time around?

Why couldn't she ever learn?

________★________

Mary groaned as she felt someone shaking her, causing her to glare up at the suddenly bright light that was in her face.

"Lizzie...What are you doing awake at this hour?" She grumbled, watching as a sheepish look came across her half sister's face.

"Nightmare. Do you think I could stay with you?"

Mary sighed then but moved closer to the wall, letting the girl curl against her.

"Alright, but your Mum really wouldn't mind you going to her. You might not remember how she doted on you but I do and I can assure you, if she's anything like my mum is right now...There is nothing you could do to annoy her." 

Mary commented, thinking back to the day she had spent with her own mother with a silent chuckle. 

"What, did Catherine go overboard?" Elizabeth questioned as she turned off her torch—but not before she saw Mary's amused look.

"Honestly? I'm used to her being ...well a bit, I suppose you could say more reserved but I guess she was as happy to see me as I am her. It almost seems like a dream, doesn't it?" !art responded, allowing herself to drape an arm around her younger half sister.

"If it is, I hope we never wake up. It's been so nice finally meeting my Mama." 

Mary nodded, she remembered the hatred and sorrow she had felt at not being able to visit or even write her own mother and assumed that in a way, she could relate to how Elizabeth must have felt growing up without really knowing Anne.

"Yeah, Me too Bess."