Dark Paradise (book 2) - BokuAka

Chapter 11

- Akaashi

"All right, everyone out except for Kotaro-kun and Mrs. Konoha," Mrs. Sugawara ordered, and there was the shuffling of feet as everyone filed out of the barn and shut the door, leaving only me sitting on the bed, Bokuto, Mrs. Sugawara and Mrs. Konoha.

"I appreciate it," I said, and I really did mean it.

"Don't worry about it," Mrs. Sugawara assured me, waving off my thanks. "I know what it feels like, it can be a little awkward."

"It is," I agreed, and began to take off my specially made oversized t-shirt, with some help from Bokuto to get it around my wings since I couldn't move as well as I could before. I raised my arms over my head as he lifted the bottom of my shirt up and over my head, leaving my very large tummy and swelling breast out in the open.

I squirmed uncomfortably, despite not normally having a problem with Mrs. Sugawara seeing me shirtless during our weekly check-ups. I think that the fact that my breasts were starting to swell in preparation for the baby with my due date coming ever closer made me self conscious. Bokuto must have sensed my anxiety, because he squeezed my hand and gave me an encouraging smile. I returned it as Mrs. Sugawara put on a pair of cleaning gloves.

"You know the drill, Keiji," Mrs. Sugawara said, putting the stethoscope over her ears. She pressed the cold metal disk against my chest, and I breathed in and out, heavy and deep. Mrs. Sugawara nodded, and I returned my breathing to normal. She then pressed the bell against my bump, sending a shiver through my skin.

"Good," Mrs. Sugawara murmured to herself, looking pleased. "With the limited tech I have I can only do so much," she sighed, taking the stethoscope out of her ears. "But with what I do have, I can tell you that both mother and baby are looking as right as rain."

Bokuto made a sound of excitement, and he grinned at me, squeezing my hand tighter. I returned the smile, feeling my anxiety fade just the slightest bit.

"Now all that's left is to check and see if-" Mrs. Sugawara started, starting to walk towards me, her hands outstretched. She never got to finish her sentence before Bokuto went behind me and pulled his wings around his and my body, shielding me with them. He lashed out with two-inch long claws sharper than a harpy eagles that grew from his fingernails at Mrs. Sugawara, sending her stumbling back. She let out a surprised yell, gripping the forearm on her left arm tightly as blood dripped down to the floor.

"Akira!" Mrs. Konoha gasped, rushing forward to check and see if she was alright. Bokuto continued to keep his wings pulled around me and claws in front, his eyes wild and feral. A low growl rumbled in the back of his throat, the sound rooting me in place. I could only stare shocked at the scene that just played out before me.

For the first time in my life, I was scared of Kotaro.

"Kou. . . Kotaro. . ." I squeaked out, my entire body shaking along with my voice. The sight of blood stained my vision, panic and fear spiking wildly in me. My throat started to close as I began to hyperventilate, my eyes widening further and further the more I stared at the crimson liquid staining the wood floor.

Bile rose quickly in my throat, and I could taste the vomit on the back of my tongue. My vision blurred and I felt myself swaying, the taste of bile getting ever stronger.

"Oh shit," I heard someone curse, and Bokuto's wings retracted, a plastic container being shoved into my hands just as everything in my stomach came up, burning my throat.

The second I was finished my breathing returned to the panicked state it was before, my thin frame trembling with terror. The voices around me were muffled, nothing registering in my brain.

The only thing that surrounded me was that damned house where I grew up, my kimono stiffening with the blood staining the fabric and my memory. My mother's eyes were lifeless, starting up into nothing.

My hands came up grip the sides of my head, my eyes squeezing shut in hopes of escaping the living nightmare in front of me, dry sobs starting to be summoned from my chest.

"Please stop. . ." I begged, my father's face flashing in my mind. "Please don't hurt me anymore, I'll be good, I promise. . .!"

"Keiji! Keiji, snap out of it!" Someone was shaking me, I think? Was it just my imagination? That seemed the most likely option; I was alone, always alone.

"Why would you kill mom?" I whispered, but my father just grinned, pulling a hunting knife out of his pocket. "Father, why do you want to kill me? I'll be good, I promise! I'll be good. . . I'll be good, promise. . . I'll be good. . ."

My father paid no heed to my words and stepped over my mother's body, walking towards me with the knife edge forward, aimed at my chest. Faster and faster he came, and I cried out in fear, bowing my head and trying to curl into myself, anything to escape my certain death.

"Keiji!" I opened my damp eyes, my hair starting to hurt from being pulled on so much. Bokuto was in front of me, panic clearly written on his face. His eyes had returned to their normal look, claws retracted back.

"Kotaro. . .?" I questioned, and I reached out a shaky hand, gently tapping his forehead. He didn't disappear, he didn't fade away, this was my Bokuto. The real one.

"You're real. . ." I choked out, and Bokuto nodded, pulling me forward into a tight hug. He let out a warm breath of relief into my hair, wrapping his wings around me, too.

"I'm so, so sorry, Keiji. . ." Bokuto whispered, and I felt drops of water starting to fall on my head. No, not water; tears. "I let my instincts take over me and struck out, and because of me you had a panic and PTSD attack."

"It wasn't your fault, you were just doing what you promised to do," I said, gently rubbing his back. I felt him nod and started to pull away, but Bokuto refused to let go.

"Just. . . let me stay like this for just a little bit longer. Please?" I didn't respond but stopped pulling away, which gave Bokuto my answer.

When Bokuto finally did let me go I turned to look at Mrs. Sugawara while he wiped his eyes, who was cleaning the gash on her arm.

"I'm really sorry, Akira-san. Are you alright?" I asked, and she laughed a bit.

"Don't worry about it, Keiji," Mrs. Sugawara said. "Enough about me, are you okay? Those were two nasty attacks you just had."

"I'm going to be just fine, that wasn't my first panic attack," I admitted. "I'll be back to normal within the next ten minutes or so."

"If you say so," Mrs. Sugawara, still looking unsure. "If you need anything don't be afraid to ask."

"Okay," I said, not really feeling up to talk anymore. "I'm really tired, do you mind if I take a small nap before dinner?"

"Of course not," Mrs. Sugawara said almost immediately. "I'll leave and give you guys some privacy."

"Thank you," Bokuto said, his voice hoarse. "And I'm really, really sorry. I won't let that happen again."

"Don't worry about it, Kotaro-kun," Mrs. Sugawara said, and she and Mrs. Konoha walked out of the barn, leaving Bokuto and I alone.

He helped me put my shirt back on, and after that was done he brought over something to rinse my mouth out with. I snuggled under the covers, already starting to drift off to sleep. Bokuto got in behind me, placing a hand on my stomach.

"Don't you worry, Keiji. . ." he mumbled. "You can sleep, I'll protect you two, always."

Too tired to argue I did just that, letting my eyelids close and sleep to overcome me.