Blame Me

Lovesick

It had been a few days since the incident with Saihara, and Kokichi had begun to feel even worse about it. He'd had sex with someone he'd only known for a day. What was wrong with him? To make the situation scarier, he'd exchanged numbers with the greasy-haired boy. Luckily, Saihara hadn't texted him at all yet. He didn't want to talk to him unless he was going to offer him food. All he wanted was food.

However, deep down, he knew that was a lie.

He wanted the attention that Saihara had given him that day, he longed for it. It was finally attention that wasn't negative, like a shove or a smack. Saihara was the first person who had ever treated him in such a loving, caring way. He felt addicted. He wanted so badly to just be in bed next to Saihara again, to feel his hand rubbing up against his stomach. These feelings were repressed however, shoved far deep into Kokichi's mind. He didn't want to admit how much he really needed the other boy. Every day he had stared down at his phone at least once an hour, waiting, yearning for a text from Saihara. Something to acknowledge what they'd done together. He wanted him. So. Badly. He'd do anything to be loved by him again.

And finally, on Thursday afternoon during Kokichi's lunch period, his phone buzzed. There was a text from Saihara.

"Want to go with me to the cafe? It could be a date if you want."

Kokichi smiled widely. Finally. He'd finally given him more attention. He quickly typed in his response, swiftly hitting the 'send' button.

"Sure! When?"

Another buzz.

"After school. Maybe around 4 PM?"

Kokichi felt drunk from all of the adrenaline and happiness charging through him. He'd never been this happy before. It was an odd feeling. He rushed to respond. He had to say something cute, something that'd make Saihara pause for a moment, something that'd make him smile, even if only for a second.

"Okay! See you there uwu"

Perfect.

Throughout the rest of the school day, he walked with a bounce to his step, confusing all of the other students around him. He was usually skittish and depressed, but today, things were different. For once he was excited about something, he had something to look forward to. Even though he still got aggressive shoves during the day from his usual bullies, it wasn't as bad this time. It didn't make him want to off himself as much as it usually did.

Soon, the dismissal bell rang, and Kokichi quickly rushed out of the school, pushing through the crowd. He then realized how early he was, and he slowed his step, walking carefully. It was only 3:45, he still had 15 minutes. He could take his time. By the time he'd finally walked his way to the cafe, it was exactly 4, and his face brightened as he saw Saihara. The boy looked at him curiously, almost a bit surprised. Kokichi wondered if he'd been surprised by his upbeat attitude, or by the fact that he'd shown up.

"You seem happy." Saihara commented as he opened the door for Kokichi.

He nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I am, I guess."

The two seated themselves and soon were given menus by the same pretty waitress from last time. Kokichi decided on the same thing he got last time, and Saihara seemed to have done the same. As they waited for the food, they chatted, talking about their days, and general small talk.

Once their food arrived, Kokichi immediately began eating. However, to avoid embarrassing himself too much, he ate slowly, savoring the flavor.

"D-do you want to come over to my place again?" Saihara asked suddenly, catching Kokichi by surprise.

He thought for a moment. He really didn't want to have sex with the other boy again, at least not for a while, but he loved the idea of sleeping next to him, enjoying his warmth. He decided on his answer.

"Yeah, sure."

This seemed to make Saihara happy, considering for the rest of their date, he had a small smile on his face. He seemed calmer.

After they finished eating and paying the bill, they left, heading in the same direction they'd gone last time. Soon, they reached Shuichi's apartment, and Kokichi stepped inside. Saihara shut the door behind him, leading him to the living room.

"Uh... I want to introduce you to a show I like." Saihara began nervously.

Kokichi looked at him curiously. "Okay."

Saihara motioned for him to sit on the couch, and Kokichi happily did so, taking a seat on the comfortable cushions. Saihara joined him, remote in hand. The other boy pressed the buttons, the TV flickering to life. Then, he scrolled through the channels, eventually reaching a channel labeled 'Danganronpa'.

Kokichi felt his mouth go dry.

Danganronpa.

He'd heard of that before. It was a show for sick, twisted fucks. People who wanted to jerk it to televised violence. Danganronpa was a show only the worst people in the world could enjoy. Danganronpa fans were disgusting. He fumbled around with his fingers, staring ahead in shock as Shuichi excitedly pressed the play button. There, in the middle of the screen, laid a dead body, bright pink, unrealistic blood pooling out of it. Kokichi wanted to puke.

Yet, he couldn't tear his eyes away.