24 hours

hour 5

11:00 pm

as i realize i've been sitting in the same spot

just thinking

for a whole hour

i try to exert some energy and get on my feet

but i'm frozen

i've been frozen in the same spot

and i want to move

but something is pulling me back

someone

something

i finally stand and walk over to my phone

no messages

as usual

i don't really have anyone to text anyways

there's no need to anymore

tomorrow the only person i will talk to

is my father

at least i hope

for all i know

there could be no heaven

nor hell

and i could end up in a large black darkness

alone

but that would be better than anything i'm experiencing currently

ending up in solitude

is better than

feeling like i'm in solitude

when i'm in a room with thousands of people

i walk over to my door and feel my feet getting heavier and heavier

and its like all of my weight from my chest and stomach is moving down

down

through my legs and

down

down to my feet i keep walking

i put my hand on the door handle

its cold

i feel a slight shiver

and turn the handle

i hear nothing but the creaking from the door as i pull it open towards me

everyone is sound asleep

except me

i very much want to go to sleep but i have to make the most of my last 24 hours

the hours i've been dreading

i've been fearing

i've been avoiding

i've waited for

i've wanted

i've been longing for

i've been excited for

i walk down the steps and take a quick left into the computer room

i open notes and type

i type long notes

one to my

mother

father

the bullies at school

the boy i dream about

and myself

once i begin typing there was no stopping

same with cutting

i look to my wrists as i type

i shiver at how disgustingly red they are

the sickest part is

i like them

i feel empty without them

and i did them myself

i am an artist

i paint my wrists like a beautiful picture

after i finish i stare at it and smile

not a happy smile

a satisfied, relieving smile

but at the same time

its a disgusted smile

a wow, i can't win this fight smile

a why don't i stop

but i know i can't

i have to see my picture

and everytime it fades

i stop it by painting even more

then watch as people stare at my picture

not good stares

disgusted stares

i know they just envy my painting skills

wishing they could paint like me

they can't

once i finish typing my notes

i re-read them

look for spelling and grammtical errors

and print them out

i fold each note twice

then write who it is to on the seal

then i sign my name as neat as possible

then walk out of the room

12:00 am
x
x
x
AUTHORS NOTE //
ok so i never did an authors note and i always wanted to so
here it is !
if you haven't yet check out my other story sigh and i promise the poems will get better
it sucks at the moment
and i swear this story does too
i have it all planned out ;)
dont worry guys
but anyways im writing this in school cause i got grounded from the internet at home
anyways how do you like the story ?
comment what you think and ideas for a new story or some stuff you'd like to see !
also thank you guys so much for 80 + reads !
can we get my story to 100 pretty please ?!
also comment if a ❤️ if this story is in your library !
ly all
xo - anon