Miss Grande

Chapter 27: Suck Up

   After practice, I lingered around to try and get a chance to talk to Ariana.

   I feel like I only call her by her first name when we are on good terms.

   I heard what sounded like the last group of girls walking out of the locker room, so I quickly turned off the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I was scared she would leave before I got the chance to talk to her. I quickly threw on the oversized gray t-shirt and a pair of black compression shorts from my bag, not even bothering with a bra or underwear; they could wait.

   I quickly threw all of my things in my bag, and just as I was making my way out, Ariana came in from the door to her office. I ran over to catch the door before it shut and nudged my head towards it, implying that she go back in.

   "Nobody else is in here," I said, and she nodded and turned herself around.

   She sat in her comically large leather spiny chair before resting her feet on her desk.

   "You wanted to see me, Miss y/l/n?" she teased.

   "You, Miss Grande, are hilarious."

   "I know I am, that's why you fell for me."

   "I- Well-"

   She cut me off. "I'm joking, don't get all serious and clam up on me." She made a weird face and laughed.

   I just smiled, enjoying the sound of her laugh and the way her cute little dimple was emphasized when she was smiling that big. Then the laughter died down a little, and she just looked at me while I looked back.

   "I have a question..." I trailed off.

   "I may have an answer, but I'm not sure it's one you'll like," she said, her tone seemingly serious.

   "Umm, why do you not like me sometimes?" I asked quietly, losing eye contact to look at the floor.

   She sighed and waited for me look up at her again before beginning. "It's not that I don't like you. It's just- this is scary. I've waited my whole life to finally be a teacher and to coach soccer. You're amazing, and I know I drag you along a lot. I act on my... urges... a lot when I shouldn't."

   "-especially in bathrooms," I cut in.

   She looked at me and rolled her eyes with a smile on her face before continuing. "When I want something, I get overwhelming protective and possessive. I don't want anybody else to have you because I want you, but the truth of the matter is, I'm scared to have you. There's so much at risk. What if I'm not enough for you or you get bored? I'll be risking everything I've worked for by just placing it at your whims. I don't mean to offend you in any way, but you are a people studier. You should know what I mean when I say your peers aren't exactly the most reliable, trustworthy, or understanding people. I know it's not fair to stereotype you. I just can't help but worry that I'm putting everything on the line for nothing...." she trailed off.

   Everything in my head clicked.

"I understand what you mean. I see why you feel how you feel, and honestly, I would be scared in your position too. But that's what a relationship is, right? Giving the other person the power to hurt you but trusting that they won't. Not that we are- like- well. With any given relationship, that's how it is."

Such a smooth save. Not.

She laughed at my awkwardness and just sat there smiling at me before her eyes flickered to the clock behind me. She sighed.

"I should probably get going. I have to babysit my nephew, Flynn." She stood up and gathered her things.

"Hey, uhh, Ariana..."

She turned and smiled at me.

"I, uhh. You made me forget what I was going to say. Why did you look at me like that?" I felt like a flustered idiot.

"I just really like the way you say my name," she smiled, making me blush more.

"Your face is distracting, and I'd really appreciate it if you didn't look so much like, well, that!"

"And what, exactly, does 'that' mean?" she questioned with a slight smirk on her face.

"So," I stumbled to find a good enough word, "perfect."

She rolled her eyes. "Nobody is perfect y/n."

"You're as close as anybody is getting," I mumbled.

"Being a suck up isn't going to get you anywhere," she chuckled.

"I beg to differ. Watch this." I stared at her intently for a second before continuing. "You're beautiful." I leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

As I pulled away, she pulled me back in and forced me up against the door. A little rough, hmm, I like it.

She finally pulled away for air, resting her forehead against my own.

"So sucking up definitely does work, at least a little," she whispered.

"Does it count as sucking up if it's true?"

She rolled her eyes before giving me one last peck and pulling away. "I really do have to get going though."

I smiled and nodded. "I'll help you lock up and walk you out to your car."

She nodded and grabbed her keys while I grabbed her bag.

   When I finally made it to my bed, I crashed. My talk with Ariana seemed to help me see everything a lot better from her perspective, but it also made me scared. I was very aware of how indecisive I could be at times. I didn't want her to risk everything when I might end up changing my mind. It's ridiculous to think about how badly I wanted to be with her and that the risk only added to my desire. However, the thought of ruining her life terrified me, and despite my reassurance to her, I wasn't sure how I felt about us now.

   I knew I had plenty of homework, but at this point, I was too tired and too drained to care.

   Just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard my phone ding. I reached to my nightstand for it, attempting to turn off the ringer so that I could sleep peacefully. The notification was a text from Trent.

I sighed annoyingly loud before actually reading it.

T: send me your address and i'll be there at 7 so we can stop for breakfast and talk before school...boy do we have some stuff to discuss;) see you then!

I rolled my eyes, knowing that it was probably about whatever made him have that shit-eating grin earlier. I sent him my address and plugged in my phone, deciding I was going to just sleep and call it a night.