Miss Grande

Chapter 47: Have A Nice Break

Camila and Selena made an effort to talk to me again the weekend before finals. Camila apologized profusely and explained that they had held back from telling me because they didn't want me to feel left out. Selena had added that it didn't really make sense now, but at the time it seemed like their only solution.

   I clearly forgave them, seeing as they were my favorite people in the world, and we rarely had bumps like that in our friendship. We always ended up working it out somehow, which was how our friendship managed to last as long as it had.

   We had a weird schedule for finals, starting with our last class and working upwards. The first day of finals was fairly easy, despite my constant absence in my last few classes. The second day had made me extremely nervous though.

   I would have Miss Grande's final last, right before we all left for break. I was slightly excited, knowing that I would be out of her class for the time being, but I was also extremely anxious. She liked to give us personal writing assignments, and I was scared that the final would somehow be related to whatever had happened between us.

I cautiously made my way to class on the last day, not quite ready for what I knew was coming. I was one of the first to enter the room, with only five other students being present.

I sat at my desk, in plain view of her desk. She momentarily looked up and gave a half smile before looking back down, probably finishing grading up the tests from other class periods.

Other students quickly filled the room, some buzzing with conversation while others remained quiet in anticipation. I gave a brief smile to the girl that sat beside me as she made her way in, but she understood that I wasn't willing to talk.

Ariana stood, instantly forcing a silence to fall on the room. She took a deep breath and walked to the front of the room with a stack of papers in her hands.

"Your final for this class will be something easier. It will be an essay, as I'm sure many of you saw coming. The prompt is on the top of your page. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. If you need extra paper, you're more than welcome to grab some from the front of the room. You have until the bell rings. Good luck."

She passed smaller stacks to the person in front of each row before making her way back to her desk.

We locked eyes momentarily.

The boy in front of me passed back my packet, taking my attention away from her. After receiving my papers, I looked back up, only to find that the paper in front of her had already regained her attention. Our moment was over.

I looked down at the page in front of me and resisted letting out a chuckle.

How has this year changed you?

I dramatically rolled my eyes and sighed, sinking farther into my chair. I had an hour and a half to write something good.

   I spent at least 30 minutes trying to think of what to write, what truths to omit. Watching people stand to grab extra papers did little to ease my racing mind.

   I wouldn't see her for a while after this. Next semester we would be too busy with our season to even address what had happened. I decided that being open and honest was the best way to go about things. She had given me what I'd asked for and moved our relationship to something more formal, the kind of relationship a student and teacher/coach should have. I owed it to her to tell her how I felt about what we had.

   I stole a glance at her, picked up my pencil, and attempted to put my feelings down on paper.

   This year was so far from any other year I've experienced, and it was anything but what I had expected. I went into this calendar year as a wide eyed junior ready for senior year. This school year, I went forward ready to graduate and move on to a new chapter of my life. This year wasn't easy or anything close to what I had in mind, but looking back, I'm proud of the changes I've made along the way.

   This year did change me, a lot.

   It changed me by making me realize that I can't allow other people to mistreat me. It changed me by putting me in situation after situation, positions that left me no choice but to stand up for myself.

   This year wasn't nice, but it was what I needed. The changes it brought me, I wouldn't replace this experience for anything. I'm thankful for all that I have been through and for everyone involved in my growth.

   This year brought me new friends. It brought me new relationships. It brought me new connections. It brought me new love. It brought me a new sense of self-worth. It brought me new happiness.

   I put my pencil down and looked at everyone around me. Getting all of that off of my chest, putting it down on paper, made me feel a sense of pride. There were a lot of things I hadn't realized were true until I had written them out, and putting it out into the universe made me feel like a different person, or at least a different version of myself. It felt like a big change had happened, but when I looked around, everything was just how it had been before I started.

   I was the same girl in the same room with the same kids and the same teacher.

   The same teacher I had a relationship with. The same teacher that changed me as a person. The same teacher about to collect the paper I had just poured my heart out on for a grade.

   I felt the panic set in on me. There was no way I could turn in this paper and have her read it.

I snatched my pencil to erase everything I had written, but the sound of the bell ringing made me freeze in my spot.

"Leave your papers on your desk, and I'll collect them when everyone leaves. I look forward to hopefully seeing you all around before graduation. It's been a pleasure to have you all in my class this semester. Enjoy your break!" She dismissed the class.

Everyone was quick to pack their bags and disperse, leaving us alone in the room with my pencil still in my hand.

I quickly stood and shoved my belongings in my bag.

"I-" I debated asking her if I could redo it or even just spilling my water to make it unreadable, but ultimately I decided against it. She deserved to know what I thought about it all, and I deserved to have my half of the story out there. "I enjoyed your class; you're a great teacher. I'll see you at practice next semester." I gave her a tight lipped smile and turned to leave.

"Y/n," she called out. It wasn't loud or abrupt, just a regular speaking voice. There wasn't any undertones of urgency or wanting. It was different still. It was her normal voice, not her teacher voice, but she said my name with peace and ease.

I stopped and turned to face her.

"It was a pleasure to have you in my class. I really look forward to reading your work; you always were the best with your words. Have a nice break."

I felt a blush creep on my face against my will. I gave a slight nod, accompanied by a small "You too Miss," before leaving.