Love Doesn't Have Words [SLOW UPDATES]

-Mascara-

Okay, hold on.

What the fuck.

Did that really just happen?

That really just happened.

Whaaaaaat the fuck.

Okay, so let me wrap my head around this all.

My friend, my best friend, is in the hospital as I speak. Well, think. His brother is angry at me because apparently I caused it. I don't know what I did! What could I have possibly done? What would I have done to him? I wouldn't do anything to purposefully try to hurt him, so how did I screw up this time?

Wait, shit, was it about North Korea? Is it because we didn't get along and that stressed him out? But how could that land him in the hospital? I guess we haven't known each other for a super long time, he may have some stress issues I don't know about... Of course he has PTSD, he was homeschooled and can't talk! He was probably kept home because of his trauma.

But I don't know. I don't feel like I know anything anymore. Everything feels numb as my legs move me around the school. My mind is blank and fuzzy, swarming with thoughts of Russia. I don't think I've ever been this worried in my life, and I've seen some things.

"Hey, America. You don't look too good, man."

It was Philippines. I guess he doesn't know about Russia, then. Them two are friends, too, right? Was I the only one that knew besides his siblings? Is it because it was my fault?

"It's nothing, just thinking..." I lie. I shouldn't tell him, I can't tell him, especially since I don't know anything besides what Ukraine told me, and that wasn't much.

He nods slowly. His eyes are concerned. I knew he could see through the lie, he is pretty smart with emotions. If anyone could see through my lies, it's usually Phil. But he didn't push it, and we walk to the cafeteria together.

We were about to turn in to the cafeteria when I see someone waiting by the door. Her green and red face looks distant, like she is thinking, too. But I see her eyes lock on to mine. I stop, her sharp eyes stopping me dead in my tracks.

"Hey, America. I need to talk to you." Belarus says sternly.

I try to prevent the fear from showing in my face as I nod, glancing at Philippines as if to tell him to go to lunch without me. He looks between us, concern still in his eyes. I give him a soft smile to tell him not to worry, and he slowly resigns and goes into the cafeteria as Belarus walks off.

I follow Belarus down the halls. Will she yell at me too? God, I don't need more guilt, I already felt bad from Ukraine, now Bel? She's usually such a sweet girl, I don't want to have hurt her, too...

She looks around to see if the coast was clear of teachers before opening a single-stalled women's bathroom. She beckons me in. Wait, what?

"Are you serious?" I ask. I don't want to go into the women's bathroom! That's awkward and I'm already scared, don't make me uncomfortable!

She nods violently, then grabs my shirt and pulls me in, locking the door once I'm inside. I awkwardly stand in the corner. Huh, it smells nicer in here than the men's.

She turns to me, and we are silent for a while, before she sighs heavily, putting her head in her hands. I soon realize her sigh turned into quiet sobs. She is grieving, after all... Who knows what's up with her brother, because I sure don't.

I hesitate, but walk over to her. I gently wrap my arms around her, holding her loosely. I don't really know what to say, but I try to console her as best as I can with "sh"s and "I know, it's okay"s. She buries her head into my chest. I can feel my shirt getting wet with her tears and warm breathe, but I pay that no mind.

She peeks over her hands, wiping her eyes and sniffling. She signs to me, I'm assuming she doesn't feel like talking. That's sad, she's usually a very upbeat and chatty girl. Her voice is nice, but I understand if she doesn't feel like it right now. She signed "you know?". I nodded, giving a small understanding smile.

Belarus puts her head against my chest, and I hold her again. She wraps her arms around my neck, clinging on to me tighter. She cried into my neck, and I joined her at some point. She's probably feeling worse, since he's her brother and all, but it still sucks to suddenly hear that my friend is in the hospital. We've only known each other for, what, a month or two, but I sure as hell worry for him. I care for him, as any friend would. Jeez, would friends even worry this much?

I didn't realize how long me and Bela were in the bathroom, holding each other and crying. I don't know how long we were together before the bell rung loudly. It startled both of us, but we gathered ourselves together to leave.

I noticed she had some makeup on, just a little mascara and eyeliner, but it was ruined now. I helped her redo it in the mirror, and she smiled with a small laugh. Her laugh is very pretty, and I smile back.

We get out of the bathroom and wave as we go our separate ways to our classes. I can tell some people are confused as the two of us exit a bathroom together, but I don't really care. I feel a little better, but I'm still worried about Russ. Maybe I could asked Bela if she could let me see him... that is, if non-family were allowed to see him yet.

I go through my day quite normally, now. The weight from my shoulders that Ukraine laid on me was shed with my tears, and I can tell Belarus felt much better too. Maybe the world isn't ending. Maybe it was just a series of harsh earthquakes, but then it stalled and kept turning. Maybe I'm okay.