Some people say i have been thru enough to be 80 years old. i am 48 at the time of this writing. I have buried two fathers to my kids, divorced two times and remarried the last one. God turned us around! (See A Silent love for details)
I was born in Tennessee to a young country girl with little life experience. My father, on the other hand, was more worldly. Daddy was an alcoholic and mama was a dedicated Christian. I tell people i had the best of both worlds! ha! ha!
My time in a two parent household was short. I was five when my parents divorced. I had two older sisters. Gig (nickname) was a teen and understood the situation better. Nina (again, nickname) was 10 years old and stayed totally confused until her 20's. During her teen years, she searched for happiness and love but never finding it to her degree, she attempted suicide many times. She could never tell me she was happy until the last several years of her life.
I fought mind battles from the time i was 6 or 7 years old til my late 20's. I have always been ashamed to speak of it because of fear of what people may think of me. It's just at this moment I realize that people are going to look at anyone in an un-approving manner no matter who you are or what you become.
I look back over my life and i often wonder what drove me. I had my oldest at 15. People say I was very mature. We lived in and out of the local children's hospital his first year. I seen other teen girls i knew that were out and about without their babies. I wondered how did they have the mentality to leave their baby every weekend and without guilt. I couldnt bare to be away from my son! a few hours was all i could stand. and that was not often!
I miscarried with my Marie and then married her father at 16 years of age. Had my baby #3 at 17. Baby #4 at 19 and finally baby # 5 at 21. ( 4 live births, 5 pregnancies.) i grew up around my kids, as they grew. We had alot of fun times together as a family. My kids never knew how poor we were until they became teens. That was a good thing!
God gave me a good man for 10 years. (Dooley) He helped me raise my kids as his own. Then, in a split second, he was gone. Here i was , a single mom again. (the marriage at 16 had ended when i was pregnant with my youngest child - i was 21)
I really dont know how to write all the funny things, the tragedies, heart breaks and happy days without going into a 1000 page book! All i know to say is i have dealt with what life has thrown at me. I have suffered and i have rejoiced. I have cried and i have shouted victory. I have been blessed and i have blessed others. But through my entire life, my God has never left me or forsaken me. He has always provided (Jehovah - Jireh) i can see places in our lives that God gave us wisdom (Jehovah - Raah) and times that He stilled the storm around us (Jehovah - Shalom).
Without the direction of Jehovah - Raah as our shephard, we would not be where we are today. Thank you Lord, for everything!
Phil 1:6 - Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begin a good work in you, will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ! KJV
YOU ARE READING
Life Lessons - Over the Hills and Thru the Valleys!
Non-FictionFrom heartbreak to full of joy, from death to life, from struggles to victories, we have all had them! But sometimes, we forget who holds the world in His hands. Sometimes, we don't need to hear everything will be alright! Sometimes, we just need to...
