Life Lessons - Over the Hills and Thru the Valleys!

Background - My Dude

I have mentioned my previous husband in the life lessons that was killed in a car wreck. (Not my boyfriend but my actual husband) I find this hard to write cause there is so much i could say about this man. And it's been a long journey over coming the loss of him and his love for me and my kids. I dont know where to start. 

our history began long before i met him. We had known alot of the same people but never met. He told me a story once about a dream he had when he was about 16 years old. (I met him when he was 22 years old) In the dream, he was playing basketball behind his house in the projects. (for those that dont know, the "projects" is referring to government housing. The playground there belongs to all the residents surrounding it.) He said the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, walked up and spoke to him. He fell fast and hard! when he looked in to her face, it was me! He had met me in a dream years before I had moved there. Aint God good! God had showed Dooley who he was to be with in the future!

I moved in with 4 small children ages 6, 4, 2 and 1 month. I had become a single parent, again. I wanted my own place, didnt matter if it was government housing! it was MY home and no one could put me out except me, by not paying the rent!

Dooley says he came to my house once to use the phone but i didnt remember that. I would get everything done in the house i needed to for the day and then sit on the porch, waiting for the chance to see him. (I had a secret crush on him! being the mother of 4 kids, i was very particular with whom i allowed in my home or around my kids.) Dooley and some of his buddies would walk around to their other buddies houses. they did odd jobs to support their drinking habits. i would see the sun glisten on his tan skin and think to myself "Lord, He looks good!" I never thought i would have someone to love me that looked THAT good! Somehow, we learned each others names. A friend of mine wanted to date him so i set them up. I was bold in asking for her. i couldnt do it for myself! They only dated for about 2 weeks. Their dates consisted of him showing up at her house and walking her across the street to mine for a night of playing cards or whatever. A friend of Dooley's, named Tony, decided he wanted to date my friend. Dooley told me about it and i found out my friend was interested in Tony. Awe.. the door slowly opening!

We all four went to the basketball courts and Dooley said to ask my friend if she would go out with Tony. He would in turn set it up with Tony and that would free him up so he and i could go out! Man, what a plan! lol (remember the dream he told me about? this was it coming to pass)

He got Tony alone and questioned him. I got my friend alone and questioned her. They both agreed! Dooley and I ran to the other side of the court and told each other the news. We were so excited, we high fived each other and made a date! This started the adventure of a life time for me! He was the love of my life!

So many good times. So many bad. So many arguments. But oh so many make ups! But I can honestly say I loved my ten years with this man. and i would most certainly do it all again. 

Each relationship has something in it that your next relationship doesnt. For Dooley and I, it was going to bed each night and telling our fantasies to each other. Not necessarily having sex or whatever. but just talking to each other. His favorite was us on a deserted island, while the kids played in the sand, i gave him my undivided attention. Mine was a cabin in the woods, surrounded by snow. Him, the kids and I, never needing to leave until spring. Only enjoying the relaxing snow fall while sitting by a warm fire. We would tell our fantasy to each other, making changes every night in some way or the other, then kiss each other good night and go to sleep, most of the time, in each others arms. 

I would have never thought that standing beside his bed in the trauma unit, I would give him one last fantasy. Until you greet me at Heaven's gates, please know i loved you with every ounce of my being. I will see you again.