CLOAKED Lust

4 | Is she Deserving?

"Hey, it's Esme Williams, I know... you're trying to reach me, but can't talk right now, leave a message!" I tried calling Esme after school, but she kept on ghosting me. And I was on my way going back home, well, in Tristan's car. And he was driving. Oh God, what's happening right now, and yes, I did tell Esme all about Nathaniel. Well, not all of it...

"Well, you see Esme, this Nathaniel, the new guy, he isn't actually the new guy to me. It's the Nathaniel guy I told you about!" I said back in class when she kept on asking.

"What!" she was surprised by what I said.

"Yes I know, I'm a really bad friend... I should have told you this when you told me about him, I mean, I didn't want to go back there and talk about it, I just wanted to keep everything as it is..." I explained while holding my pen trying to write something on my notebook that was on my desk.

"You know what? You always hold your pen and try to write something when you lie! So, when you're actually ready to tell me the truth, you know how to find me..." she stood from her desk and left the class. I never saw her again until now. And God, I've got to stop holding my pen when trying to hide something from my best friend.

....................

"Are you okay!?" Tristan asked me as we were still riding to my house.

"What! Me? Yeah, yes, I'm totally fine... superfine actually, way, way fine!" I replied.

"Yeah right, that seems like you're so, not fine!" he knows me too. I know right, these connections with people, it's like sometimes you get screwed up when you think you can actually get through it by hiding some things from them! I sometimes feel like, "what the hell guys!" I'm trying to protect you, it's not like I'm hiding the truth intentionally...

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing. I mean, don't worry about it... it'll all be just fine. I'm sure I can handle it on my own!" I replied as I tried to shut him out of my feelings.

"Okay. No doubt that you can handle it... but I just hope that one day, you'll let me in, or maybe let me help you sometimes with what you're dealing with!" he said passionately.

"Yeah sure, one day..." I whispered.

"Okay, you're home..." he pulled over. And yes, we were just on the roadside next to my house.

"Thanks, Tristan!" I thanked him as I tried to open the door...

"Oh, wait, Kayla..." he stopped me from opening the door.

"Yes..."

"Well, I just want you to know that I really, really like you. And don't ever think that I'm here to just play with you, and leave you hanging when am done. I'm here to stay, if and only if, you let me stay..." he began with his sweet words again. The words that give me wings, and I feel like I'm flying among the sky birds, from New Crest hill town to other corners of the world.

"Oh, thanks, Tristan. That was so touchy!" what am I doing? Am I trying to shut him out again!?

"Am glad you were touched! I mean, by the words..." he said.

"Yeah! Okay, so, see you tomorrow in school? Ok, bye... take care!" I concluded in a rush and got out of the car and began walking directly to my house. And trust me, I did not look back after that, until I was now holding the doorknob, trying to get in... "Should I turn my head and take just one last look at him!?" I thought to myself. But, "no way!" my brain replied, and I walked inside the house.

*****************************

"Mom... am home!" I yelled.

"Oh, darling... thank God you're home! Guess who came to visit?" my mom came by the door where I was standing after I got in.