Grayscale

Chapter Two

        Later that night, I was sitting at home in my room, when I saw snowflakes starting to fall outside out of the corner of my eye. The little kid in me whooped with joy. I loved snow so much. With it came snowmen and snowball fights and snow angels - all the great things in life.

        My phone rang from my cluttered nightstand, and I hopped off of my bed to pick it up and answer. I paced when I talked, so I couldn't be sitting when I answered the call. "CALY IT IS SNOWING OUTSIDE LOOK!" Robin screamed, not pausing between sentences. I laughed and held the phone a little bit away from my ear as she continued to share with me her excitement. "CALY CALY CALY WE CAN ALL HAVE A SNOWBALL FIGHT TOMORROW IF THIS STICKS! AND LATER DANE COULD WALK WITH US THROUGH THE WOODS SO WE CAN TAKE PICTURES, BECAUSE WE TOTALLY CANNOT MISS A GOOD PHOTO OP." Her tone shifted a bit, and I could practically see the love-stricken smile on her face as she spoke. "And I bet he'll hold me super tight, because it'll be totally freezing. He'll probably even offer me his coat, even though he'll need it way more than me. It'll be adorable, and we will get fantastic snow pictures - which let me remind you, we have not been able to do yet this winter - and we just need to do it. Okay? Okay."

        My heart ached when she mentioned Dane. I wanted what they had more than I would ever admit to anyone. She was more in love with him than I think any of my friends were with their significant others. It wasn't because some of them were less perfect for one other than the she and Dane were for each other - they were all soulmates for a reason - but there was something special about those two. Maybe it was that their love wasn't born just because they fucking saw colors. It was born because they became really good friends and actually took the time to fall in love with each other's quirks. They didn't just decide to love each other because that was what they were destined to do.

        I wasn't sure really what it was. All I knew was that I wanted it.

        "The silence is hurting my ears. Why aren't you excited? IT IS SNOWING CALYPSO. YOU HAVE TO BE EXCITED," Robin yelled. I laughed a little, kicking myself for falling into my woe-is-me mindset for the thousandth time that day.

        "YES ROBIN, IT IS SNOWING. WE CAN TOTALLY DO THE SNOWBALL FIGHT AND TAKE PICTURES AND STUFF." It wasn't with mock excitement that I said the words. I really did want to go and have a good day with her tomorrow - I just really didn't want to watch her and Dane be adorable all day while I had no one to stand by my side and offer me his coat when I started to shiver because of the practically subzero temperatures. I didn't want to be alone anymore.

        "Something is wrong with you. Normally when I make plans that have anything to do with snow, you tell me no and suggest something bigger and better like building a ten story igloo. So spill. What's on that brain of yours?" Robin pried.

        With a sigh, I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I hated that she knew me so well. I didn't want to have this conversation with her again today. She always just gave me the bullshit, "You're too fantastic to be forever alone," spiel. I'd heard it enough times for one day. "Nonevent," I simply said. "Now what about ten story igloo? That sounds fantastic."

        "Calypso Elizabeth, you are avoiding the topic. I said spill."

        "Robin."

        "Calypso."

        "UGH." I plopped down on my bed, grabbed my pillow, buried my face in it, and let out a scream before I dropped the pillow, hit speaker and told her exactly what I was feeling. "You and Dane are just so adorable. He treats you like a god damned princess, and that's exactly how it should be - I hate that some people have abusive soulmates, because they'll still stay with them no matter what happens, and things don't always get better - but I'm just so tired of being alone, and it sucks to watch your adorableness. I just wish I could do something to speed this whole process up so we could go on double dates and I could color-coordinate my own fucking outfits and I would have someone to give me his coat when I'm cold too. I want to write love letters and wake up to good morning text messages and just . . ." My voice broke. "What is wrong with me? Why haven't I found someone yet?"