The Specter of my Life (Frerard)

5 - walking on ice

Doing what is right doesn't always feel good and vice versa. For a long time, I have been telling myself that I'm fine just like this, just me, by myself with my occasional visits. I have been giving myself rules to keep myself sane and capable of functioning like normal people. Well, normal...

What is normal these days anyway.

You go through your life, thinking you have things pretty much figured out. You go day by day and you don't probably expect much from life, right? And then the bitch decides to throw a few surprises down your path and have a good laugh while watching you deal with it. Call the bitch whatever you want - God, Fate, Karma, Coincidence, Satan, just Life - but it will forever be The Bitch in my head. It's all her fault. Fuck you very much.

I never wanted to be happy. I was okay with being content, but once you get a taste of 'perfect' you never want to go back to 'okay'. I cursed Emily for coming to me and asking me for help. But then I remembered it was me who offered to help her, yet it was still her fault. But when things started to be fine, I was actually glad that I met her. In the end, you just realize that you can't blame other people for what's going on in your life. Nothing is anyone's fault. Shit just happens and honey, you've got to deal with it whether you want to or not.

It was Monday morning and I was getting ready for work just like usual. I sat down to have breakfast before I had to leave and was mildly startled by a red aura that appeared in front of me. It was Emily and she looked unusually optimistic.

"I found it. I remembered when I was in the apartment." She told me, bouncing in her seat.

She said she remembers the attacker's face and she was determined to get him behind the bars. There was a problem with my going to the police. I've been there quite a few times and I didn't want to be any more suspicious than I was so we needed someone who would do it. Emily told me her boyfriend had a friend that was not only a great artist but also believed in ghosts so he might be able to help us without really questioning it that much.

"Okay, where is it?" I asked her about the man's workplace.

"Shoot, I don't remember the street name but I know where it is, I'll tell you on the way. Come on." She urged me.

"What? Right now? I can't. I gotta go to work you know?" I told her. Death really makes you forget some things.

"Damn, I forgot." Emily sunk in her chair. "What about lunch break?" She asked.

"Uhh, yeah I think I can manage."

___

"So where are we headed exactly?" I asked Emily as I drove to where she told me.

"It's not far, we're almost there." She told me enthusiastically. I just rolled my eyes and focused on the road. Maybe if I knew what building to look for it would be a bit easier on my nerves but sure, go ahead and be mysterious, I totally love it.

"Stop. We're here." Emily cried out suddenly.

I stopped the car on the first possible spot and got out. Some auras are overusing their teleporting powers quite a bit. At least when going somewhere with me they could remember that I'm alive, I have to walk. It took me a second to realize where Emily disappeared to - a firehouse.

I walked toward the huge open door and cautiously peeked in. I wasn't sure if I can just come in or if there was like an entrance for 'normal people' but then I saw Emily waving at me from inside so I followed after her. A few men were walking around carrying stuff and some were just sitting on benches and chatting among themselves. I didn't know who to approach first but when they noticed me one of them walked up to me.

"Hello, can I help you?" He asked.

"Hi, yes, I'm looking for Alex." I told him, repeating the name after Emily.

"And you are?" He asked, looking me up and down.

"We have a mutual friend that I need to talk to him about." I told him a well-prepared lie.

"He just left but maybe I'll still catch him. I'll be right back." The man smiled at me a bit and walked away.

I looked around and also watched Emily as she walked around the place. The other firefighters were joking around and still doing what job they had to when one of them tripped one guy's leg and caused him to drop what he was carrying. I hurried to help him pick it up as the man who caused him to fall laughed.

"Watch where you're going, Jared." He snickered and walked away.

"It's Gerard you twat." The guy - Gerard - called after him. "Thank you." He smiled at me for helping him.

"Nice name." I offered, not knowing what else to say.

"Thanks." He chuckled and after taking what I helped him pick up he walked away.

"Hey, Frank." Emily called at me and motioned for me to join her by a bulletin board. I looked around and looked at a photo she showed me. "I completely forgot. Miles used to work here before we even met." She told me and sadly touched the photo where her boyfriend was among the other firefighters.

"Hey, you were looking for me?" A brown-haired man spoke up. I was surprised by his British accent, not really expecting to hear it in the middle of this shithole.

"Hi, Alex Turner?" I asked and he nodded. "I would like to talk to you about Miles." I told him and his eyes widened.

"Do I know you?" He asked rather standoffishly.

"No, you don't. I'm Frank Iero and I need your help."

___

"I was rather devastated to hear about Miles' passing." Alex told me after we sat down outside of the firehouse. "We were great friends in high school. We moved here after we graduated and I followed with him in his dream to become a firefighter. I never wanted to do this job really, but he was like my brother and I wanted to do it with him." Alex said sadly.

"Why did he leave then?" I asked him.

"Lung disease." Alex and Emily both said at the same time.

"One time he ran back into a burning house without his helmet put on properly because the family forgot about their dog and he needed to save him, which I don't blame him for. He breathed in a fairly great amount of smoke and had to go to a hospital where he found out there was something wrong with his lungs so he had to quit to not risk any more damage." Alex told me nodding his head softly. "I promised to stay here for him, to fulfill his dream but then we grew distant because deep down he was jealous that I could do this job and he couldn't."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I'll miss him. I hope his soul rests easy." Alex and smiled and looked into the distance.

"Now's a good time." Emily encouraged me. I mouthed a 'are you sure' at her and when she nodded I shifted my body to face Alex more and I took a deep breath.

"His aura is already gone." I said.

"What?" The man looked at me with wide eyes, emotions mixing on his face like fruits in a blender.

"I know this is going to sound crazy but hear me out."

_____

fuck jake tbh, messing with my boi >:(

sending a lot of love as always my frens
-L