Panelli's Journey to Un'Goro

Chpater Two: Take Me Away

As the class settled from the lengthy physical strain of Physical Education Panelli booted up his laptop and prepared himself to open Hearthstone. His feet were settled in a puddle of his own semen as he no longer had control of his hormones due to the amount of pressure thet was being exerted by his brain to get his necessary daily dose of Hearthstone. As he booted up the Battle.net launcher the class was getting their doubts on when Panelli would decide to start the class. Paola Cabrera, a student of the current session asked him respectfully:

"Oye mister, tu piensas dar clase hoy."

The second her lips shut his fist flew. Panelli wasn't having it today. He lunged his entire body mass towards her with the intent to kill. The punch hit her directly on the middle of her face. The initial impact was received at the tip of her nose damaging her "tabique" to the point it was irreparable. Such a mighty blow meant her days on the Earth were coming to a close. As his arm thrusted further against her face more and more force was being built up. Once the inital swing motion was done Paola Cabrera was sent flying off through the cardboard walls and through the disgustingly painted teal green metal pillars that barely held up the school's ceiling together.

"¿¡QUIEN MAS QUIERE HACER PREGUNTAS PENDEJAS!? DIGANME AHORA PA DARLE LO QUE ESTAN BUSCANDO."

Panelli roared to the rest members of the class. If his first act of dominance against one of the students didn't leave them scared enough then the reverberations of his screams would. Now that all of that was out of the way Panelli sat and did a little prayer for the life he had taken.

"Látom"

After the prayer and a brief session of group meditation he was ready to boot up Hearthstone. He was greeted to Madam Lazul congratulating him for dumping 140$ to get her hero portrait, 140 packs and two legendaries. His golden legendary was Gepetto Joybuzz. Before he could even assemble the deck he was already filled with glee. This was genuinely the happiest moment the man had ever felt in the entirety of his life. He continued to unpack the remainder of the packs which ended up taking basically the entire class. As students were leaving the classroom he kept on busting packs open until only a core selection of students remained in their seats, Yeizineth included. When the opening came to its conclusion he was satisfied with the results. He tied the loose ends of his collection by crafting the remaining golden cards he was missing from the unboxing session. The acidity of his bodily fluids had completely disintegrated what once was his shorts. He was leaking like a faucet, the same way Paola's "tabique" was oozing blood like a drippy faucet. After the fact he started the ceremonious event he dubbed "Deck Building". He would mix and match a variety of decks he wanted to try out: Odd Quest Druid, Even Deathrattle Hunter, Odd Raza Quest Priest and list went on and on. At the moment when he went to try out his favorite deck, Quest Paladin with Gepetto Joybuzz, Shirvallah and Uther of the Ebonblade he noticed his rank was dropped back to 25. He asked Yeizineth about why the UI had changed so drastically and why they did a complete rank reset. Yeizineth explained everything throughly.

"Bueno mister, no se si tu sabes pero existen dos formas pa jugar: Wild y Standard. Esas lianitas que tu ves y la pantalla mas oscura de lo normal quieren decir que estas usando cartas que pasaron al Hall of Fame o que rotaron completamente. Si quieres jugar como estabas antes tienes que jugar Standard, pero cuando salió Rise of Shadows todos los ultimos sets rotaron a Wild. Los expansions que rotaron son: Kobolds and Catacombs, Knights of the Frozen Throne y ... Journey to Un'Goro"

"Esperate Yei. Me estas diciendo. Que Un'Goro. Ya no esta en el juego...?"

"Buenooo mister, si quieres usar las cartas de Un'Goro pues tienes que irte pa wild."

Panelli was left speechless. The only thing that could be heard was his sobbing and the loud sniffling that came off of him. Yeizineth wasn't sure if she had said something off tune of if he was just reacting off of something entirely different from the subject at hand. Yeizineth ached while seeing him like this and went to console him the best way she could. She wrapped her arms around him and told him everything would be okay, but emotionally, he was completely gone. His skin felt cold and his stare was blank, it was as if her words drained the humanity directly out of him into the fabric of the world around him for it to be dissolved and forgotten.

"Un...Goro...Se fue...Un'Goro."

He let out heart felt laments for that which he felt he had completely lost into an abyss of despair and abandonment. He cried for every single named legendary card he had to bid farewell to. He felt as if he had lost everything that was of even the minimal of value in his life. He dismissed the class and headed back home.

Back at the chamber of solitude he had to call a home he saw exactly how little he had left now that he lost his entire savings, family and now, Journey to Un'Goro card collection. He had feared that a day like this would eventually come, but never expected for it to come through as precisely as it did. Back when he still had connections to his family he had his tarot card readings done by his daughter which was a certificate oracle. One of the fortunes read as following:

One day you will scatter your cards, dwindle back to the hole you came from and with a knot of fate will move on to another plane were all that was lost will come back to your possession in ten folds.

Panelli had to take what he was told long ago as fact and take actions into his own hands. He knew very clearly what the knot of fate stood for, but was too scared to actually take the actions that were demanded of him. But in the face of the promised paradise he was prophesied to have he did what he had to do. He weighed the consequences in both hands and at that moment he knew, he had absolutely nothing to lose. If this was just a hoax by his daughter then he would pass into a tranquil slumber where he can't be disturbed or tormented anymore. If her predictions were correct then he would attain that which he sought after. He had decided to do as she said and tie his life to a knot and hang himself off the ceiling.

Once he arrived at the other side it was dark, really dark. Absolutely nothing could be seen or heard, no matter how much he focused his senses. His pupils saw colors the human eye could never perceive. The sounds he heard were those which couldn't possibly be replicated. This was limbo. This was death.

After facing judgement by the holy ones above Panelli was sentenced to an eternity of suffering in hell, his crime was committing the most selfish act of them all, taking the one gift God gave him: Life. On his descent to hell he had time to think about his life and the decisions he made or more importantly, the ones he didn't. At the arrival of Hell's gates he was asked if he had any regrets he would like to be resolved over in the living world. Panelli promptly replied that he would like his entire Hearthstone card collection dusted and for his Blizzard account to be shut down. Satan looked at him profoundly as if he was questioning his choice. Panelli noded that this was certainly his only regret before taking his own life. Satan obliged to his petty wish and shoved him through Hell's Gates.

Once again it was dark, completely dark, but with enough force and focus he managed to open his eyes. It was all too blurry to distinguish what was what so he decided to shut them back and take a well deserved nap right there and then. He felt as if someone was staring at him but didn't bother himself with checking. A couple seconds later he felt as if he was face to face with another person. He was terrified to open his eyes again just to find Satan staring into the absence of his soul another time. He heard a very faint whisper, one spoke in a bold tone as to both check up on him and leave him be if in fact he didn't want to be disturbed.

"Need a hand explorer?"