Angels in Everything

Chapter 6

        Chapter 6

        “There is never nothing to do. There is never a great enough reason to give up. God is here. He is helping you. Do not forget that. He is helping you.” There was a desperation in his voice that had her questioning everything.

        Why did he care so much? Why was he always trying to help her and telling her that God did care about her? Did it even matter anymore? Would anything matter ever again?

        The tears slowly stopped coming, but she didn’t feel any better. If anything, she felt worse. She was beginning to feel empty, but she wasn’t afraid. This was something she had felt many times before. It was what happened before she just stopped feeling anything. It happened before she totally gave up on everything. “How do you know?” She was sure her voice sounded hollow, but that could just be because that’s how she felt.

        “I can feel his spirit here. He is just waiting for you to accept him. Trust in the Lord and He will open up the heavens and pour out blessings far greater than you can hold. Just trust in the Lord. You must have faith that He holds all things in His hands. He loves each of His children more than we could ever know.” He gripped her hand and sounded as though he was pleading with her. “Give everything to Him.”

        “I can’t do that. I have nothing to give, so how can I give him everything? I have nothing to give.” The hollowness inside continued to grow. It was beginning to encompass her, taking control of everything she was feeling.

        “Give Him yourself. Give Him your faith; your trust. Allow Him to take over your life.”

        His words sounded distant. Everything was simply fading away. Nothing mattered anymore. Her life was useless. God wouldn’t want a life like her own. He wouldn’t know what to do with her. She would just be extra baggage.

        “Please, I need to show her. I can’t lose her. We both know she’s giving up. I need to do something.” There was a pause before he stood. “I know I won’t be able to come back again. If this doesn’t work, I don’t think there will be anything I can do to help her. It’ll be out of my hands. Please, allow me to do this.”

        There was a long moment of silence before Joshua finally kneeled in front of her. “I will show you that God is here with you. He cared for you with all His heart and I am living proof of that. Without Him, I would not have come to your aid.” He took her hands in his own. “Come with me.” He stood, pulling her up with him. “Let me show you something.”

        She shook her head, a slight fear coming to the surface. “My family. I can’t…”

        Joshua gave her a soft smile, still gently pulling her toward her door. She didn’t have the will to fight him, but she didn’t want to go. “They will not see you. Do not fear. Place your faith in the hands of the Lord and anything is possible.”

        Not being able to make herself care any longer, she mindlessly allowed him to pull her through the house, only being able to feel slightly amazed when her parents completely ignored them when they walked through the kitchen. It was as though they didn’t even see them; just as Joshua had said it would be.

        He led her outside to the backyard that was completely fenced off from the outside world. It was once a place she went for refuge. Now, she simply couldn’t find refuge anywhere. There was nothing that would allow her to escape from the truth; from her reality.

        “Jane, I need to you listen to me.” Looking up, she saw that Joshua looked afraid. “I need you to listen to me.”

        “What is it Joshua? What’s wrong?” His fear was becoming her own. Joshua should never have a reason to fear anything. He knew too much, but he still seemed so innocent. For some reason, she felt protective over him. In this moment, she felt she needed to keep him safe from anything that could possibly harm him.