* WARNING *
This is a sensitive topic and my trigger some people (suicidal thoughts) if you are sensitive please skip this chapter.
Also please play this song when I say
(Y/n)'s POV
After I got scolded for starting a food fight and cleaning the kitchen. I felt a wave of drowsiness come over me as I tell Shiro that I'm going to bed. When I got up stairs I went to the bathroom and did my nighttime routine. After I finished my routine I penguin dived on to my bed and wiped out my fancy Bluetooth headphones. Turning them on, putting them on, and then started to play i hate me too, on a loop, by guccihighwaters.
(Play the song now)
𝓘'𝓶 𝓼𝓪𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓘'𝓶 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰
My life
𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓘'𝓶 𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓯𝓵𝓮𝔁𝓲𝓷𝓰.
That's what everyone sees
𝓜𝓲𝔁𝓮𝓭 𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓭 𝓾𝓹 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷.
Hehe like I do drugs
𝓢𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓘 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓻𝔂 𝓽𝓸 𝓯𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓲𝓽.
I don't want to fight it
𝓢𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓲 𝓫𝓵𝓮𝓮𝓭 𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓼𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓶𝓮.
Yes I should do that
𝓙𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓼𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝓮.
Haha I'll be dead
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓪 𝓷𝓮𝔀 𝓶𝓪𝓷
So what I've moved on
𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱 𝓘 𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓶 𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓸𝓶𝓭𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮'𝓻𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰.
I rich with that depression
𝓘'𝓿𝓮 𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓪 𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓰𝓻𝓲𝓹 𝓸𝓷 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮, 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽.
No one will ever save me
𝓘'𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓰𝓻𝓲𝓹 𝓸𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓴𝓷𝓲𝓯𝓮.
Like now?
As the line played I open my drawer and grab my razor. Then rolling up my sleeve and dragging the razor across my wist.
1.....2.....3.....4.....5
After I went to grab some bandages from my dresser for my arm.
𝓞𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓲𝓭𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓭, 𝓘 𝓪𝓶 𝓽𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮.
Wait no take mine
𝓢𝓪𝓲𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓻𝔂 '𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓶𝓮 𝔀𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓘 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓻𝔂 '𝓫𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸.
No one worries about me
𝓦𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓪 𝓷𝓸𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓰𝓪𝓻𝓫 𝓶𝔂 𝓷𝓮𝓬𝓴 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓪 𝓽𝓻𝓾 𝓼𝓮.
Please end me
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮?
Everyone does
𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱, 𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸
I know already
𝓘 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮.
Life's too hard
𝓘'𝓶 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓲𝓷 𝓲𝓽 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪 𝓯𝓮𝔀
I'll be dead soon
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓮𝓯𝓽 𝓶𝓮. 𝓘 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭𝓷'𝓽 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸.
No one loves me
𝓘'𝓶 𝓪 𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓵𝔂 𝓹𝓮𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓽, 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓮𝔂 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓷' 𝓼𝓸𝓸𝓷.
Everyone will be happy when I'm dead
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮?
I already know everyone hates me
𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱, 𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸
I'm just stating the truth
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓮𝓯𝓽 𝓶𝓮. 𝓘 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭𝓷'𝓽 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸.
No one will like a disappointment
𝓖𝓸𝓵𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓷𝓸𝓼𝓮
I was thinking about a nose piercing
𝓒𝓸𝓾𝓹𝓵𝓮 𝓱𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓰𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓶𝓮
I'm not a guy
𝓝𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓬𝓱 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓼 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷
I will never love again
𝓘 𝓵𝓮𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓰𝓪𝓾𝓻𝓭 𝓭𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓶 𝓫𝓸𝓽𝓱
I will never open up to anyone again
𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓸𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓼𝓽
Again I'm not a guy
𝓘𝓽'𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓪 𝔀𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓮, 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓘 𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓫𝓮𝓭 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓶𝔂 𝓷𝓮𝓬𝓴
I never sleep peacefully
𝓑𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱 𝓘 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓭𝓲𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽
Me everyday
𝓘'𝓶 𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓴𝔂 𝓽𝓸𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽
Wishing I could just let go
𝓦𝓮 𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓿𝓸𝓶𝓶𝓸𝓷
What things?
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮?
We've been knew
𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱, 𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸
I tell myself that everyday
𝓘 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮.
I want to end it
𝓘'𝓶 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓲𝓷 𝓲𝓽 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪 𝓯𝓮𝔀
It'll be over soon
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓮𝓯𝓽 𝓶𝓮. 𝓘 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭𝓷'𝓽 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸.
I will never flirt with anyone
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮?
Stop reminding me
𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱, 𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸
I know already
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮?
Thank you for fucking reminding me
𝓦𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱, 𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸
Leave me alone
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓮𝓯𝓽 𝓶𝓮. 𝓘 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭𝓷'𝓽 𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸.
Don't keep reminding me
After I realized that I had cut myself, I immediately stared to freak out. I quickly ran into the bathroom to clean the cuts so I could wrap them in fresh bandages. I turned on the water then stared to clean the cuts, while hissing from the pain. I then grab the bandages and wrap my arm taping it together. I then lazily head out of the bathroom, plopping on my bed, and whipping out my phone then scrolling through Instagram. Then slowing drifting to sleep.
YOU ARE READING
The High School Struggle (Keith x Depressed Reader)
Fiksi PenggemarThis is my first x reader so please don't hate on me. !WARNING! This includes self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and swearing. This may trigger many readers please read at your own risk. This is a Keith x Depressed Reader book. (Y/N) Shirogane is a new...
