the sander sides ships

panic attack-Prinxiety

contains: panic attack and past abuse.

when virgil was younger he was full of hope for his future. always trying his best but he always had bad grades and a family that would abuse him. they never put their hands on him, they only used objects like when his father would whip him with a belt and leave bruises. after they beat him, his family would tell him to do better. now as an adult virgil would get tiggered by the words "you could do better." and goes into a panic attack.

virgil's pov

I was laying down on the couch and listening to music on very low volume in case anyone needed me. then logan came in saying something like patton was sick with the flu. I point to the cabinet with all of the meds in it. logan spotted it but it took him forever to see where I was pointing.

" you could have done a better job at showing me where it was you know."

after those words left his mouth I couldn't stop shaking. tears almost spilled from my eyes

I got up quickly and responded "y-ya well-l whatever."

when I got to my room I felt hot and cold all over and can't breathe. I tried to stop the panic attack by slashing water on my face but that made me want to cry even more. I couldn't hold back the tears and I started to cry.

a knock on my door surprised me.

I couldn't move though and was scared that someone would see me in this state. crying, sweating, and scared.

roman's pov

I knocked on virgil's door but no response. maybe he didn't hear me I knock again yet nothing.  I did hear crying come from the door. I open the door to see virgil in tears and looking scared. I rushed to the anxious trait.

"virgil what happened?"

"l-l-o-ga-n"

"logan did what?"

"h-he s-said s-somet-thing th-that t-tiggered m-me"

" do you want a hug."

I saw virgil nod his head. he moves over for me to have a seat and I wrap my arms around him making a shield. to help him feel more protected.

"follow me, virgil breathe with me four seconds in, five seconds of holding, and four seconds out."

"ok"

I lead as an example for virgil. after a while he stops crying his breath is still uneven but it will fix its self.

virgil's pov

roman helped me with my panic attack but I saw him wanting to ask about what logan did. I have always known that roman was very giving,brave, and gentle. he would help anyone in anyway he could but i hated being helped it made me feel vulnerable and helpless. I have always been the wrong one in the group and someone who will never be good for anything. but roman has everything and more leaving me in the dust. I would hate to drag him down with me.

"i'm sorry roman. i'm really really really sorry" tears came to my eyes and I started crying again.

"virgil stop and why are you saying sorry. " "you haven't done anything wrong."

"roman you should have a better life than being with me, you could have became famou-"

just as I was about to finish my sentence, I felt roman kissing me. my eyes widen but soon I return the kiss and then pull away.

"virgil never and I mean never talk bad about yourself."

roman kisses the top of my head and wipes my tears away. all while whispering sweet nothings in my ear. when I stop crying and my breathing is even, roman  still stays by my side.

"I'm going to take care of you. ok?"

"ok"

"good, now sleep your going to tell me what happened after you wake up."

"night roman"

I lay down with roman. he hugs my back and wraps his arms around me.

"I love you sir sing a lot."

he kisses me on the head and gives me a simile.

"same here hot topic."