LOVE TRIALS

ii

I feel it's my anger that has helped me keep alive.

-Audre Lorde.

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Munizeh watched her husband in the mirror, moisturizing her hands as he pushed a hand through his hair, forcing them away from his forehead. He flipped a page of his book as per his daily routine, the glasses perched on his face made him look stern belying the softness he encompassed in his entire being.

A soft smile played on her lips, she caught her lower lip between her teeth.

Bilal raised his head to find his wife's gaze fixed at him, a small smile curled his lips."What have you been looking at?"

"You."

Bilal fell silent, his eyes on his wife, affectionate and steady when she rose from the vanity chair and moved to the bed, the sound of her gentle footfalls echoed in the silence of the room, the floor cold against her bare feet.

Bilal tugged at her hand, willing her to sit by his side as he scooted to make space for her but she stayed by his feet. He moved to sit, cross-legged, his shoulders hunched forward almost as if he was leaning into her, reaching for the waves of her mahogany hair.

Bilal wrapped a hand in her hair, lightly and pulled her close, nuzzling his face in the crook of her shoulder, he breathed, deeply, "Tiring day?" Munizeh found her hands buried in his hair. Caresses of his warm breath accompanied an affirmative nod. He had returned home at 9, giving his children an hour with him before their bedtime. Munizeh sometimes detested his hotel which kept him away from home for the most time.

She savoured her husband in her arms as she held him for she knew when she opened her mouth she was going to lose him to his anger.

He felt her tense and stiffen in his grasp.
His hand on her waist held her in her spot when she tried to pull away from him."Stay," He told her, pressing his lips above her eyebrow and wound an arm around her shoulder, "Don't think I haven't noticed something's off about you for a few days, now. What is it?"

"What is it?" Bilal urged, enveloping the softness of her hands in his.

Munizeh lips stretched into a big smile albeit strained," Bhai has agreed to marry."

"That's the only good news I have heard all day," Bilal kissed her cheek and laid back against the bedframe. He added when Munizeh remained silent, "You're worrying for no reason, if he's agreed, I think he's ready to take the big step."

Again, Bilal said despite himself and snickered.

"We almost divorced, once, "Munizeh reminded him, defending her brother.

"I thought it was the only way to ensure your happiness, I did it for you. I didn't think you wanted me," Bilal stood up for himself.

Munizeh arched an eyebrow, "Without ever consulting me?"

Bilal opened his mouth to excuse himself but thought better, they were steering far, far away from the topic at hand.

"The circumstances-" Bilal caught himself before he threw himself and Munizeh in the chasm of dark misery their past was."It was entirely different, Munizeh. Nevertheless, we are never discussing it," Bilal reprimanded with a harsh glare.

"I am sorry."

"I am sorry, too. Now, back to what you were saying?"

"He's agreed but It's not- it's not what worries me," Bilal was concerned when he saw Munizeh twiddle her thumbs, a nervous tic. Her hesitation made him wonder what was it that had gotten his wife so worked up?