LOVE TRIALS

xiii

Let me know how this chapter turned out.

●

We make each other alive. Does it matter if it hurts?

-Ingmar Bergman

●

"Sophia," Habiba breathed when she saw her daughter's eye brim with unshed tears.

Anger simmered hotly just beneath the hurt.

"Wo Aaj mutmaeen hain tou mutmaeen hi sahi. Unhain khushi nahi hai, mujhsay Muhabbat nahi hai tou na sahi likin mein kia karoon, Ammi? Meri muhabbat tou unkay liyai kum hi nahi hoti. Mein kia karoon?" She spoke with desperation, roughly wiping away the twin tears that had rolled down her flushed cheeks.

Sophia fisted the bed sheet in her hands, leaning into her Ammi as she shifted closer to her.

"Unmein kitni akar thi-hai, ammi. Aapnay dekha hai wo bethtay kaisay hain-

Straight back, shoulders taut as a drawn arrow on the bow. Always uncovering the corners, an arm stretched over the back of the couch, he would settle the other on the armrest. Only in the presence of her parents or his father, she had seen him sit with his hands loosely held in his lap, never meeting their eyes. Head straight, he had a habit of looking straight into the eyes of people including his wife, warming her down to her toes, he would relish the colour diffusing in her cheeks as she would meet his unflinching gaze while others shied away.

-chaltay kaisay hain, baat kaisay kartay hain. Aaj tak kabhi sorry nahi bolay, wo kisi k aagay nahi jhokay likin wo meray aagay bich jaatay hain, shayad unhain bhi nahi maloom. Kia meinay socha tha Hamza
jaisa aadmi mujhey paani la kar daiga? Jinhon ne khud kabhi uth kar paani nahi pia. Meri taangain bistar par utha kar rakhtay hain, humara bistar theek kardaitay hain. University, baba k office se latay and laijatay hain. Mera hur kaam khud kartay hain. Meray saath aksar raaton ko jaagtay hain jaisay shuru mein main unkay saath jaga karti thi, so jaatay hain. Wo sotay nahi thay ammi. Aksar poori poori raat kitabain parhtay huay guzaar daitay  thay. Ab kum kitabain parhtay hain-" Sophia hiccuped. Her throat closed up as she struggled to breathe.

Sabeeha ki tasweeron ko kabhi kabhi dekhtay hain.

"-Mujhsay baatain kartay hain, bharosa kartay hain. Wo mera khyaal karnay lagaye hain, mein tou soch bhi nahi sakti thi. Mein kisi khushfehmi mein nahi hoon likin aisa lagta hai wo meri Muhabbat ka pass rakhtay hain. Jis din unhon ne yeh sab karna chor dia, ammi. Mera kia hoga? Mujhey tou lagta hai mein marjaaongi," Sophia sobbed, harder, Habiba ran her hands down her daughter's back. "Aisa kab, kaisay hogaya, Ammi? Mein itni kamzor tou kabhi nahi thi."

Habiba's heart squeezed painfully in her chest as she pulled her daughter into her chest, wrapping her arms around her, comforting her how only a mother could.

It was sometime later when Sophia had calmed down, Habiba excused herself to fetch a glass of milk for her daughter.

"Allah," Habiba jumped with surprise, seeing her son in law at the door when she opened it, her hand flew to rest over her racing heart.