Going Pear Shaped. A tale of wizards, lizards and galvanised tubing salesmen.

Chapter 13: 'My little Johnny wants to see a zombie.'

Chapter 13: 'My little Johnny wants to see a zombie.'

Norris caught his first glimpse of Bludd Castle when he felt the huge bird banking over to fly around it.  He forced his eyes open and saw the amazing sight of almost half a million tons of mountainside suspended several miles in the air, with no apparent visible means of support.  Shrubs and bushes still clung to the steep sides of the rock.  It was flatter at the top, and a vestige of the road that once wound up from the village could still be seen etched into its side.  Norris was sure he had seen something like this before on the cover of a Seventies Progressive Rock album.

But at the very top was the Castle itself, still brooding after all these years.  The dripping stonework and dark battlements were enveloped in a permanent mist of cloud that seemed to cling to the walls like a corpse's shroud.

The roc spread its great wings, circled around the Castle and started its descent.  It glided down towards a rough, level surface near the base of the Castle.  Everyone on board screamed louder than ever.  At the last minute, giant talons uncurled from beneath the roc and bit into the craggy surface.  Its wings beat rapidly, causing a whirlwind in the carriage on its back. 

Then they were down.

Mr Scroggins' eyes were bulging out of his head.  He released his grip on giant bird's consciousness and slid back out into his own world again.  He turned round to face the passengers, and said, 'All disembark here for Bludd Castle.  Hope you had a pleasant flight, folks.  See you again when you fly back.'

Norris vaguely remembered loosening the rope around his waist and stepping forward to the exit.  He remembered being flattened by a hoard of passengers from behind who stampeded over him in their haste to get to solid ground.  He remembered being picked up and dusted down by someone in a flowing garment several sizes too big and hearing, 'Welcome to Bludd Castle.  Mind your step.'

Norris rubbed the back of his neck and tried to stop himself from shaking.  'That was the worst journey of my life,' he said. 

'Wait until the return flight,' said Cadmus, 'It's downhill all the way.'

Sister Rosehip and Garstang joined them as they walked through the mist towards the main door of the Castle, where the other disembarked passengers huddled. 

'Can you feel it?  In the air?' said Cadmus, looking around him.

'Feel what?' asked Norris.

'Raw magical power.  The place is saturated with it.  A wizard can sense these things, you know.  Oh yes, this place is definitely the centre of a high potential magical charge.'  He extended his arms like a sleepwalker, and spread his hands out, palms down.

'What is it?  What can you feel?' asked Sister Rosehip.

'Oh, it isn't anything you could detect, even with your so-called fancy psionic talents,' he said, making a dismissive gesture.  'This is old, fundamental magic.  It's like… it's like a tingling just under your skin.  A sort of strange, itchy sensation.  Then your eyes begin to prickle and you can feel something starting to catch in the back of your throat.'

'Ah,' said Norris, 'I got those symptoms when I laid the fibreglass insulation in Auntie Vera's loft.  I forgot to wear the mask and gloves.  It took ages to wash out.'

'Do you mind?  I was trying to describe a phenomenon.  Anyway, I thought you said your Auntie Vera was a pig.  Everyone knows you shouldn't keep pigs in lofts.'

Norris's eyes and mouth widened.  But before he could say anything, Garstang pointed to a crowd heading towardsthem.  'Here come the passengers for the return flight,' he said.