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cнapтer I : тнe ѕυммonѕ

4 - 9 on weekdays and 8 - 5 on weekends.

Shitty work hours but convenient seeing as how my school starts at 10 in the morning. It's honestly a miracle though how I managed to keep my grades up so high. I was blessed with the Hobby of studying amongst other things. Boring and non-attention grabbing, perfect for me, isn't it? Because of my job I don't get to really balance my rest time and study time which results in all-nighters being pulled frequently. Bad for my health, yes, but I've gotten used to it.

I could still remember though back when I was a kid. I use to get tucked in by my mother right on time, every night. My father would stand by the door as if silently wishing me sweet dreams. He was the less affectionate one out of the two but I could tell he loved me dearly, just like my mother. 'Ah. I shouldn't be daydreaming. I might get scolded by the manager and fired. . '

Working at a convenience store isn't half bad honestly, except for the few nasty customers who come in every day. They enjoy starting shit and getting my pushover manager to give them free stuff all the time. It's annoying, but I put up with it somehow. I've gotten used to restraining myself from punching anyone. Though in my mind I always imagine myself lashing out and just beating the shit out of everyone who's ever wronged me. . . Fat chance that'll ever happen.

If I did then not only would I be the one getting beat up but I'd also be unable to hold back my emotions again after that. My nature, even as a kid was to be emotional after all. I'd cry like normal whenever I was upset, I was enthusiastic about the things I liked- I got angry and said mean things to others just as they did to me. . . but I have to hide that nature of mine at any cost. No need to add on to my weaknesses after all.

Standing in front of the cash register all morning was borning as all hell, yet here I am, blank face and bored waiting for my time to clock out so I could head to school. I like to imagine myself in some sort of fantasy world or some shit at this point, you know? Being transported somewhere new with a god-like skill. Doing what I wanted, when I wanted. Protecting people close to me and punishing those who've wronged me. . .

Sometimes I even think about picking up some old passions of mine, like staff techniques or something like that.

It was then the bell to the door of the store had rung, signalling someone had made their entrance. Of course, it was one of the regulars- the nice ones this time. "Arso! Young man, how have you been doing, hm? Have you been eating well like I've told you too?" The old woman had hobbled her way over to be while speaking, a kind smile on her face as she awaited my reply. I responded as I normally did, telling her I was doing all right, and she did what she always did in the morning. She bought a single bottle of water from the fifth aisle and a sweet bun from the third before bringing it over to me. I watched her as she did before heading to the back and grabbing her usual favourite cranberry juice. Like always after paying for the water bottle and snack she left them there for me to eat while I paid for her juice. And of course, I couldn't forget what she'd always say afterwards just before leaving.

"Young man, you've grown so much lately! You're such a fine gentleman. I bet life is treating you well, isnt it?"

"Maybe. I mean, I have a beautiful young woman such as yourself visiting me almost every day."

"Hohoho~ how sly! Quite the womanizer you are!"

She was kind to me for whatever reason. I liked her honestly, she was like a grandma I never had. But with that, she was gone again.

It didn't take much longer after that before I was on my way to school after clocking out of work, sighing to myself as I threw the empty water bottle and sweet bun wrapper in the trashcan nearby, feeling satisfied as I walked through the school gates. Just like always I headed to first period, passing by many squabbles in the hallways but I ignored it all. Why get involved when I wouldn't even be able to help, you know? I sat at my desk and waited for the teacher to arrive as soon as I got to my classroom, keeping to my self like normal. To pass the time quickly I would read the words written on my desk, starting at the top corner and going down, then back up again, and then down. A repeated process. 'Faggot. Idiot. Dumbass. Monster. Moron- ' the list never ceases and sometimes I would find new words here and there. This burning sensation would bubble up inside me but I shove it down each and every time. If I get emotional I'll just become even more of a target for entertainment.