Waste it on me (BTS Jungkook x Reader)

Chapter 9: Used

Although not very comfortable due to the muscle, you find yourself laying your head on Jungkook's lap as he draws in his sketch book.

"It's really hard to draw with you lying on me" he laughs and runs his hands through your hair. You stiffen and sit up trying to get a peak into his notebook. He jerks it away and taps his lap "Lay down, I don't mind." You smile and rest the back of your head on his lap looking up at him and the back of his sketch book.

"What was being with Tae like?" you ask more out of curiosity than jealousy, nose crinkling when some pencil dust falls on your forehead. You knew Jungkook was hard to crack, suppressing his emotions till you found him broken at your apartment. He was most vulnerable when sketching and you hoped this was your chance to learn more about his thoughts, and maybe even tell him your own.

He gives you an apologetic look and continues drawing, too focused to realize your questions were about to get more and more personal. "It was...good...." He contemplates for a second before continuing "We never really fought or argued, we got along."

You purse your lips as if unsatisfied with the answer "What was or is your favorite part about him?"

"He had a way of breaking me out of my shell" Jungkook glided his fingers across his paper smudging a specific corner tenderly. "I used to be so shy and I think he used to make me go to parties or do things that I wasn't completely comfortable with."

"Like climb that history building roof?" you recalled hearing the story from Taehyung of how they went up there to make out under the stars.

Jungkook chuckles at the memory "Yeah like that. Things that were a little dangerous and sometimes more social than I expected, but I think it was good for me. I met a lot of my friends because people were a lot less intimidating. I took a lot of risks with my art because he pushed me to give it my all. He was good for me."

You nodded understanding "I think you were good for Taehyung too. He was wild freshmen year and I think you kept him grounded. He focused more on school when he was with you, partied less, took less drugs..." Jungkook smiled down at you causing your mind to blank from how breathtaking he was. He looked back at his drawing allowing you to focus on your questions. "You were good for each other. You were the campus's it couple, why did you break up?"

You couldn't tell if his brows furrowed because of his drawing or your question. It was a question he got often but never from you. Did you betray his trust by asking? He sighed before nodding and answering "When we were together, we didn't really... talk.... When you're a horny teenager trying to get laid it seems like the perfect relationship, but that stuff gets old quickly. When we got busier and didn't have time to stay over at each other's places, we didn't really talk. We dated for almost a year and never said I love you." He laughed coldly at the thought, brows furrowing further "I don't really know how it happened, but there was a point where I stopped and forgot I was even dating anyone. It was my first real relationship, I thought that was what a relationship was, no talking, just sex. It actually wasn't until I saw you and Jackson that I realized what a relationship should be, well before he...."

You grimaced thinking of Jackson, someone you tried so hard to forget. You sat up from his lap and leaned yourself against the couch cushion, shutting your eyes. When you opened them, Jungkook had put his sketchbook down and was looking at you with a tilted head.

"You've been asking me a lot of questions; shouldn't it be your turn?" He raised his eyebrows at you as your eyes got bigger. "I've never heard you talk about Jackson since you both broke up"

If Jungkook was good at suppressing his emotions, you were better, avoiding any conversation that involved Jackson for a year. Jungkook understood this, allowing you to cope on your own, but if you were going to break his hard exterior, he was determined to do the same to you. He inched closer to you and you scrambled back with a yelp until hitting the hard couch arm. "You can't hide how you feel forever, what he was bad, but I won't pity you like the others."