Waste it on me (BTS Jungkook x Reader)

Chapter 23: I'm with them now

This is the last chapter :'O 

but I'm so proud of it!

......................

"I have a new appreciation for life" you say quietly, looking away from his kind eyes. He slowly takes ahold of your hand, rubbing small circles with his thumb. You look up to him to see a sweet bunny smile, making you want to trust him completely.

"Can I ask you something?" he tilts his head while you nod "What made you suddenly want to be in a relationship with me?"

You bite your lip, pondering the question yourself "I've always wanted to be in a relationship with you, maybe even before that one 'heart to heart' night. I was just too scared.... Scared of losing my friendships with Jimin and Tae... scared of losing my friendship with you...." He waits silently and your awkward self attempts to fill the void "I guess something clicked in me when I almost did something bad..." his eyes widen but you try to avoid the subject quickly "I realized that I wanted you in my life and I would be stupid not to try this out. It just took me a while because I wanted to be absolutely sure I was ready to give you my whole heart"

He looks away from you, biting his lip nervously "I want to be with you, but I don't know if I can unless you're honest with me, does this bad thing have to do with Yoongi?" You nod cautiously while he mimics your action "D-did you sleep with Yoongi? I mean it's okay if you have- we weren't together- Yoongi is pretty cool- you don't have to be ashamed- not that you would be ashamed of Yoong-" you burst out laughing, catching him off guard.

"Yoongi?" you wipe a tear from your eye "You think I was sleeping with Yoongi? That's hilarious"

"Well then what is this big secret?! I'm so curious!" he sends you pleading eyes while you're trying desperately to stop laughing

"Oh he just stopped me from killing myself" you say casually, too caught up in the thought of you and Yoongi hooking up to realize what you just said.

"What?!" he jumps next to you, cradling your small form "Baby no, tell me everything that happened?"

"Baby? Well I guess it's better than cutie" you shrug, nervously trying to inch yourself away from him, but without prevail. "I guess I should, you're my best friend so you should know.... Alright I had a bit of a panic attack while I was talking to Yoongi in the woods and may have.....um... runawaygotlostandtriedtofreezemyselftodeathinsteadofgoinghome"

He stares at you, slowly processing your rapid words "H-how did you get out alive?" you can hear the shaking of his voice

"Well you know Yoongi" you chuckle nervously "He knows everything. I don't know how he knew, but he sent Hoseok to come find me. I was asleep for a few hours and when I woke up I thought I was already dead since I couldn't feel anything, I even thought Hoseok was some kind of angel. He had to-uh- carry me back to his car and he let me stay at his place for the night."

"Those two really are the best, I feel bad for being so jealous of them" he hugs you tighter, clearly not letting go anytime soon "And the week off?"

"Well I got sick from being outside in the cold, and honestly I just needed time away from everything. This was right after the pictures were sent and I wasn't ready to face you, face my friends, even face myself."

"How do you feel now? Are you still... um.. thinking bad thoughts?"

"Well, it doesn't go away like a switch. Depression is like a deep scratch on a table you can't seem to sand down. It doesn't really bother you till you notice it and then you can't stop noticing it." You shake your head, trying to get the thoughts away