Luke.
I ran into the hospital, Calum and Ashton directly beside me.
"Where is Aaliyah" I yelled to my boss, who met us at the entrance.
Tears had been flowing
The nurses I was in contact with told me it wasn't good.
She couldn't be dead.
She could not be dead.
"Calm down." He spoke.
"Fucking- tell me if she's okay or not!" I yelled.
"She's okay, she's still sleeping." He spoke.
"Michael and a general surgeon pumped her stomach and got all of the toxins out, child custody is currently with her parents and Tracey." He spoke slowly.
"Bring me to her, please." I demanded.
"Lets go."
We almost jogged down several hallways, where eventually we went into a room, immediately seeing a pale, red eyed Michael.
I looked to the bed, seeing my pale, beat up angel.
"I'm sorry" michael shook his head.
"Michael- you saved her." Calum spoke quickly.
"I was supposed to be with her- she wasn't supposed to get that chance" he beat himself up.
"Michael." I spoke quickly.
"This isn't your fault, this isn't her fault, this isn't anyone in this rooms fault." I spoke.
"That kid never gave me any signs of suicide- I know she wasn't suicidal, but she was cornered. She didn't know what to do and she resorted to what she thought was best, which isn't her fault." I spoke, feeling the lump in my throat.
"The parents are the only blame for this, she should've never even felt like this was an option."
Michael rubbed his face, making me hug him.
"If this is anyone's fault, it sure as hell isn't yours."
We all sat, keeping the door shut.
"This was my first suicide attempt." Michael spoke after a few moments of silence.
I saw the tears invade my eyes.
"Her body was so weak, but yet she was fighting me so hard" his voice cracked.
"She begged me, she begged me to let her go"
I wiped a tear that fell, staring to her sleeping face.
Then the door opened, Tracey entered- sobbing.
"Tracey" Ashton spoke quickly.
She held a piece of paper in her hand.
"It was me" she sobbed.
"None of this would've happened if I wouldn't have told her to refuse" she almost yelled.
"Tracey, relax-" "no, it's written in her suicide note, she wanted me to be free, I was part of the reason she tried to kill herself" she sobbed out.
No one knew what to say.
"Tracey" I spoke quietly.
"She would've never been put in a position of leaving you guys if I wouldn't have pressured her into telling them" she sobbed.
Ashton stood, bringing her into a hug, letting her basically fall into his arms.
"It's not your fault" he spoke to her.
After dealing with several mental breakdowns from everyone from Tracey, to Ashton, to Michael and to me, I finally felt her hand twitch.
"Aaliyah" I spoke, making the three guys' heads pop up.
I rubbed her hand, giving it several squeezes.
After feeling her shift a bit more, I watched her tired eyes flutter open, bloodshot whites immediately revealing themselves.
"Hi" I whispered.
She glanced around the room, staying silent.
She caught eyes with Michael, and I watched tears flood into her eyes.
Aaliyah.
It was cold
It had to have been Heaven
How the fuck did I make it to Heaven?
I opened my eyes, squinting at the brightness at first, feeling myself getting excited to see what Heaven was actually like, before I noticed I was in a hospital room.
I glanced around, seeing all of the guys, who remained so silent, I almost thought they were apart of Heaven.
And then I made eye contact with Michael, who's knee shook at a rapid pace, this eyes were puffy and red, he looked to be on the verge of another breakdown.
Then the memories flooded into my head.
Falling to my knees at the feeling of the drugs, hearing the banging on the door, the yelling outside of it- praying for forgiveness.
I watched the door break open and I watched Michael run to me.
I was so close to being done
I fought him with every bone in my body
He begged me, he held me firmly, he made me throw up and as I heard him yelling for an OR, I started seeing dots, but one thing stuck out
His panicked voice- he made it calm as he stared to me
"No- this is not what your life is going to amount to me, I promise you Aaliyah- you hang on and I'll be damn sure we give you the life you desire."
And then I passed out.
"I'm sorry" I felt my voice crack as I stared him in his eyes.
"I'm sorry" I spoke then to everyone in the room.
"We know this isn't your fault, Aaliyah" Calum was the only person who seemed to be able to speak.
"I was trying to do the right thing" I spoke.
"This wasn't it" Luke's voice told me he was crying as he kept his head down.
"They we're taking me from you, she was taking all my technology- I wouldn't have had a way to talk to you, for you to help me." I explained slowly.
I couldn't even make a word for how I felt
They seemed so mad at me, yet so relieved, yet so sympathetic.
I didn't even know how I felt.
As I felt a tear slip down my cheek, I watched Michael stand, almost falling into my bed, pulling me into a tight hug, which immediately made me start crying.
"Everyone has moments where they feel as if the world is better without them" Luke's voice spoke, cracking nonstop
"But, no Aaliyah" he cried out
"The world would never be the same without you"
