Recovery

Stay With Me

"Stay with me," Magnus pleaded once more. Alec tried to keep his eyes open. He didn't want to pass out, but every breath made his whole chest burn and he felt like he was running out of air. Coughing made it worse, but he couldn't help it, he wasn't in control of his body. He started to feel lightheaded, tired.

"Alexander, please, look at me," the warlock went on talking. It took Alec strength to keep his eyes open. He wanted the pain to stop. With a shaking hand, he tried to activate the iratze again, just for a second of the soothing effect. But the stele slipped out of his hand, hitting the ground with a clatter.

Magnus let go of his hand to pick it up, but as soon as the warlock touched the metal shaft the tip lost its light. Downworlders weren't meant to use Shadowhunter steles. They only worked when a Nephilim used them. But Alec's sight was already blurring, the fight to stay conscious getting harder by the second.

"Mag..." he tried to talk, only for agony to take over him, nothing but painful gasps leaving his mouth. The ache in his chest was getting worse and worse, it felt like the pressure was trying to crush his heart. If he had been in the right state of mind he would have maybe been able to remember what he had learned about collapsed lungs, but he couldn't remember a thing.

"It's okay. Don't talk. Concentrate on breathing and staying awake," the warlock tried to soothe him. Alec closed his eyes. A second wouldn't hurt, right? He felt his head falling to the side when everything seemed to fade away before a gentle hand turned it back "Alexander stay with me. Please, don't leave me."

The Shadowhunter fought to open his eyes, to look at Magnus, to stay conscious. "I will call Catarina. She can help you. Just hold on," the warlock started talking again, Alec fought it was more for the sake of making him concentrate than for informing him. There was no need for that, he couldn't process it anymore.

When he felt Magnus searching his pockets for his phone he tried to move the injured hand out of the way, which resulted in a stabbing pain that made him cough and another wave of agony flooded his senses, taking claim of every part of him. 

When the pain decreased again, still excruciating but not claiming all his being, he was able to see Magnus with the phone at his ear, an anxious, impatient expression on his face. Alec's eyes fell closed once more, he felt like he couldn't breathe, like the pressure in his chest would crush him from the inside.

"Alexander. Keep your eyes open, look at me," the begging voice sounded like it was far away, drifting out of reach. No, he had to stay with Magnus, he couldn't leave him. He tried to even out his rattled breathing, tried to take deep breaths to get enough air. But that made the pain worse, the only sounds he was able to get out being shattered whimpers.

He heard Magnus' voice, it was like he was miles away, speaking through a thick layer of water, he didn't understand what he was saying anymore. Alec didn't want to drift away, he wanted to stay awake, look at Magnus and assure him that he wasn't going to give up. But he couldn't even bring himself to get his eyes open.

Everything was about to go, the pain fading away as welcome darkness was consuming him when a wave of soothing energy flooded his body. It only lasted a second, the following agony making Alec gasp out.

His eyes fluttered open, to Magnus gripping his hand, making it hold the stele that was hovering over his side, where the iratze rune was. "Alec," Magnus' voice was clear now, but there was so much fear in it, so much desperation "Stay with me."

Alec's breaths turned shallow, every single intake of air resulting in extinguishing agony. He couldn't even feel Magnus holding his hand. The pain in his wrist was like an inconspicuous sting, overruled by the burning in his chest.

He had been about to pass out, fall into the precarious darkness that would take all the pain away, make it all stop. He wanted to tell Magnus that he loved him, that he would always love him. But he wasn't even able to look at him, his eyes closing when he wanted them to stay open.

"Alexander please, hold on. Catarina will be here. I promise," he heard Magnus say, but once again his voice was drifting away from him. Alec wanted to tell him, declare his love one last time but all that left his mouth were gasping breaths. What if Catarina would be too late? He needed Magnus to know.

"You're not going to die. You hear me?" the Warlock said with a shaking voice, probably trying to be sure of his words. Alec let out a pained whimper, forcing himself to open his eyes, to see Magnus one last time. What he would give to see his love's cat's eyes once more.

He wanted to belive Magnus, wanted to believe in his survival. But he couldn't. Jace would feel him die eventually. He would cause all his loved once suffering, he would leave them all alone. He didn't want to, he wanted to stay alive. But he could feel his life slipping away, could feel the darkness coming once again.

He felt another soothing wave of rune energy course through his body, but this time it didn't have the same effect. He didn't open his eyes, it was all slipping away. He felt numb, not able to hear, see or feel anything but the pain. What if he just stopped fighting the darkness? Would it make him feel better? Would the agony finally stop?

He hissed out in pain, before coughing made his lungs burn like hell. He felt a small sting in his side, when suddenly all the pressure on his chest was gone. Alec's eyes snapped open, he was gasping for air like he had been drowning. The pang in his chest made him whimper once more.

Now there where two people kneeling next to him. When had Catarina come? "Alec!" a relieved voice dragged him out of that thought, he wasn't able to concentrate on two things at the same time. Magnus looked sick of fear, more anxious than Alec had believed possible.

"He's too weak to be portaled," Cat's pleasant voice was interfused with his foggy thoughts. His eyes fluttered closed once more. The pressure was gone but the pain was still overwhelming him, making it hard to process what they were talking about. Not that he needed to know.

Then he felt a tug at his chest, making him grit his teeth when it continued. When he groaned out in pain the motion stopped, doing nothing to take back the pain. "I need to get it out," Catarina stated calmly, but Alec didn't know who she was talking to or what she was talking about.

He felt a slight sting in his chest once more, before hands were on him. Someone touched the wound, making him rear up and gasp loudly before he was held down by a second hand. His mind was spinning. Why would they increase his pain?

Why couldn't he get back into the comfortable darkness where there was no suffering? He wanted to drift back into it, not to wake up again until it was all over, until all the ache was gone. But he couldn't, the pain kept him occupied, kept him alarmed, consumed his senses.

He gasped out when he felt something cut through his chest and the hand that had been holding him down was gone. He still felt excruciating pain, not sure about what had changed, but it felt different.

Without a warning there was a stabbing pain in his wrist, making him scream out and rear up, before sinking back onto the hard ground whimpering. There were tears in his eyes, caused by the sudden agony. He hadn't even known that he was still able to scream. It had made his whole chest burn once again.

There were more voices now, concerned, anxious, worried, reassuring, calm, male and female. But Alec wasn't able to understand or allocate them. The darkness he had wished for some seconds ago was coming for him now, promising to stop the pain. He didn't fight it, he wasn't strong enough to fight it anymore. Was that how dying felt like?

***

If you liked this chapter please consider leaving a vote or comment :) thanks for reading.
I apologize for putting poor Alec through so much pain, but I tried to make it realistic (as realistic as possible since I luckily have never been stabbed with an arrow).
Also, it was pretty hard to find out how to correctly remove an arrow, all about collapsed lungs and broken wrists, but I hope I got it all right, I am no physician.
If you know more about this and noticed that I made any mistakes please let me know, I am eager to learn :)