From Ashes, Through the Fire (English) (From Ashes Vol.3)

Chapter 46 - Sleep Back to Life

Marian got off Robin's horse and she took a few tentative steps toward the path leading to the hut.
Guy was in there, only a few feet away, yet he was so far away from her that he could be on the other side of the world.
He couldn't be dying, Marian couldn't accept it, not like that.
She knew that a knight's life could be dangerous, that Guy could fall fighting an enemy or defending her, but thinking that it could be a disease to defeat him was much more difficult to accept.
It was an invisible and devious enemy that didn't fight loyally: the remedies could help in the fight, but if the illness was stronger, it would win, taking Guy with him, without Marian could do anything.
She was ready to kill again to defend Guy during a battle or from a human enemy, but at that moment she was completely powerless and that thought destroyed her.
If only she could have stayed by his side, to refresh his face and to hold his hand to comfort him!
Marian started running towards the hut, determined to assist Guy, to at least give him the relief of her presence.
Robin and Archer chased her and blocked her a few steps from the hut.
"Let me go!"
"You can't go in there! You would get sick too!"
"I don't care! I want to be with him! If Guy dies, how can I continue to live?!"
Robin hugged her tight, trying to calm her.
"That's not what he'd want."
The girl seemed to collapse in his arms.
She knew Robin was right, that Guy just wanted to know that she was safe, that he would die more peacefully knowing she would live on.
But she didn't want him to die peacefully, she didn't want him to die at all.
"Guy! Guy!" She shouted, crying. "You promised! You must come back to me!"

Guy watched the sparkling waters of the river. Under its surface, the waves swirled hypnotically, creating strange shapes and patterns that enchanted him.
It was absurd, but he felt the imperious and yearning desire to cross those waters, to dive into them to reach the opposite shore, just as he had felt the need to pick an apple from the tree just before.
"What's on the other side?" He asked Ghislaine.
"I can't tell you. It is something that everyone must discover for themselves. I can only tell you that you must not be afraid, whatever you decide, it will be fine."
Guy stared at her, puzzled.
What decision could he make? He was dead, what could he do? And certainly deciding whether to go to heaven or hell was not a choice that would be up to him.
"Shouldn't I be afraid? Isn't hell what I deserve? Was Tuck really right to say that my soul could be saved, then?"
Ghislaine stroked his cheek.
"Your soul is not as black as you think, my son. And you've already suffered a lot for your faults."
Guy sighed.
"Not enough, I think. But I'm so tired. I just want to close my eyes and know that someone else will be fighting for me."
"We left you alone too soon. You were little more than a child and you had to learn to be a man too quickly. It's not your fault if you haven't always succeeded."
"Maybe. But I know I could have been better than that." He gave his mother a resigned smile and he took an apple from the tree. "But I suppose it doesn't matter much now, since I'm dead."
Ghislaine put a hand on his wrist to restrain him before he could sink his teeth into the apple and she looked into his eyes.
"Oh, but you're not, Guy. Not yet."
"What?"
His mother put a hand on his heart.
"Can you feel it? It still beats. But if you eat the food of this world you won't be able to go back. Bite that apple and you'll have to cross the river."
Guy stared at the fruit he held in his hand, red, shiny and tempting. One bite and he would leave any problems behind. He could rest, finally be at peace, and Ghislaine would love him, like she once used to do, she would take care of him and keep away all the pain.
The waters of the river seemed to want to invite him to surrender, to eat that red apple and then abandon himself to their welcoming embrace, to let himself be gently dragged on the opposite bank.
"Does that mean I have a choice? That I am the one who can decide whether to live or die?"
"It's usually not like that, but you're halfway there. Perfectly halfway, in balance between life and death. It would take very little to break that balance and in this case you have the chance to do it, one way or another."
Guy stood still. He felt stuck, trapped and unable to make a decision. He had many reasons for wanting to live, but the other side of the river was a promise of peace. In that place, he felt it, all the pain he had suffered would no longer matter.
"Guy! Guy! You promised! You must come back to me!"
The voice came to him in a whisper carried by the wind, so weak and far, barely audible, but Guy felt it with his heart, loud as a cry.
"Marian!"
Ghislaine looked at him.
"Is she the woman you love?"
Guy nodded, continuing to look around as if he was trying to see the girl in the trees that surrounded the riverbank.
"She's calling me. She's suffering for me."
His mother dried his tears with a caress.
"You made your choice, didn't you?"
Guy handed her the apple.
He had so many reasons to live, but there was a single one that was enough to give up paradise.
And that reason was calling him, she was crying for him.
"I'll miss you, mother. I've always missed you."
Ghislaine spread her arms.
"Come here."
Guy hugged her and closed his eyes. He had chosen to live, to start fighting again and suffer for what he cared about, but at that moment he wanted to feel that he was Ghislaine's son for the last time before leaving her again.
But at least this time he had the chance to say goodbye.
The mother sat at the foot of the apple tree and Guy lay down on the ground, resting his head on her lap.
Ghislaine stroked his hair and Guy began to feel sleepy.
"Sleep, my son, and let your dreams take you back to your life. One day we will meet again, when the time is right. Until then I'll wait for you."
Guy looked at her one last time and smiled at her.
"I love you, mother."
"I know. I never doubted it. My love will always be with you, my son. If you remember this moment, tell Isabella and Archer too, remind them that I love my children, all three of them. And now live and be happy, I will always be proud of you."
Ghislaine kissed him on the forehead and Guy closed his eyes, abandoning himself to sleep.

Matilda suddenly woke up, cursing to herself.
She hadn't intended to sleep, but the fatigue of the last few days had prevailed over her and she ended up dozing off in front of the fire.
The sun had just risen and Matilda sighed: she had slept too much and now Gisborne must have already died. The healer felt guilty, probably it wouldn't have made much difference, but she felt that she should have stayed close to him at that moment, as she had promised Robin.
She stood up and walked over to the bed of the black knight.
At least, she thought, his death must have been serene, because there was a slight smile on Guy of Gisborne's face, as if the end had given him peace.
She knelt beside him with a basin of water and towel, preparing to wash and compose Gisborne's body.
It wouldn't be prudent for them to get too close, but his friends would surely want to see the dead man to say goodbye, to wake over him before burying or entrusting his body to a funeral pyre. She had failed to keep the promise to assist him in the moment of the end, so at least she wanted to give him a peaceful and pleasant appearance.
It wouldn't be too arduous a task, she thought, Gisborne already seemed to be asleep. It would be enough to wash and dress him and then she could allow his friends to see him.
Before starting she touched his cheek with a tender gesture.
"I'm sorry, you have been brave," she whispered, thinking that he must have died recently: he wasn't hot with fever anymore, but his skin was still soft and he didn't have the time to become cold yet.
When Guy moved and opened his eyes, Matilda winced and let out a cry.
"You are alive!" She exclaimed, incredulous, then she took his arm and put her fingers on his wrist, feeling his heartbeat, strong and regular. "And you no longer have a fever... How do you feel?"
The healer was astonished: she had been sure that Gisborne would not pass the night and instead he was still alive and he no longer had the very high fever that had made him suffer for days and that she hadn't been able to lower.
Guy managed to smile weakly at her.
"Tired." He replied in a whisper and Matilda returned his smile.
"I guess that it can happen when one comes back from the dead, but if I were you I wouldn't complain too much."
She examined him quickly, nodding satisfied, then she helped him to drink another bowl of medicinal infusion and tucked the blankets and the pillow to allow him to rest more comfortably.
"Now sleep. You will need a lot of rest to regain your strength."

Meg leaned wearily against Allan's chest, even after both of them had run out of tears.
If she thought of Gisborne dying or that perhaps he was already dead, she felt empty, distressed, and desperate, and she had the impression that she could no longer be sure of anything.
"We can commit ourselves, we can fight to have a better life and then everything can be taken away in an instant. What does it mean?"
Allan sighed.
"Nothing, probably."
The girl looked up at him and Allan wiped his face with a hand, embarrassed.
"Don't tell the others that I started to cry like a little girl."
"There is nothing to be ashamed of. I cried too and if you dare to suggest that I'm a little girl, I'll kick you."
Allan found himself smiling at her even though he had thought that he wouldn't be able to do it for a very long time.
"You're not a little girl, Meg," he told her warmly, grateful for her understanding and her closeness. If she hadn't come to look for him, that night would have been even more painful. "You are a very special person. Thank you. I don't know how I would have done without you tonight."
The girl stared at him, amazed. She was the one who had received comfort from Allan, she was the one who had clung to him to be comforted and she was always the one who had felt a little less lost taking refuge in his embrace. Why was Allan thanking her when she should do it?
She leaned back against his chest and she felt his breath tremble.
"Without Giz I'll be so lonely... You'll think I'm pathetic, but he's the only real friend I have."
Meg looked into his eyes.
"You're not pathetic and you won't be alone. I will not leave you alone."
A moment later, their lips met.