𝘚𝘤𝘢́𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘤𝘩 · 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥 ⁵

𝟓.𝟏

───── 「UNDERGROUND」  ─────

     We had been inside the bunker for 46 days and things weren't getting any easier. Sam had blind faith we'd make it through just fine but I wasn't so sure; I knew half of her relentlessness came from the fact that Bellamy wasn't in here with us but 5 years was a long time. Even for them. We had tried to fall into a routine but I wasn't sure Sam had understood what that was supposed to mean. I'd wake up early most days, only to find she was already up: I doubted she was sleeping at all. I knew she had nightmares, I knew she cried at night, I knew Lila held onto her every night like her life depended on it, she had nightmares too sometimes. I hated knowing there was nothing I could do to help them; Sam didn't even want to talk about it, saying it'd get better with time, saying she just had to come to terms with her loss and make peace with the fact that she had managed to survive over everyone else. I hoped she would. Soon. Because I needed her.

I was training with Miller that day. It had become a routine for us: he was always up for it, saying he needed to stay on his toes and that fighting me gave him something to keep his mind busy. I understood the feeling. Training with Sam had become something more sporadic, mainly because we already knew how the other fought, ending in a tie most times; I was certain she was holding back, but I never brought it up, I didn't want to push her. It was good enough she was still standing with the routine she had. She trained with Roan most days, walking around the Bunker after because she refused to be an unapproachable leader, she spent time with the kids, but mostly with Lila. I had ended up approaching Roan, trying to convince him to talk with Sam; maybe he'd figure out a way to force her to stop and sleep.

Indra eventually came around, interrupting Miller and I's training session, informing me that the heads of clans had gotten together again, coming at me with the same thing she couldn't seem to get out of her mind: 'wear the symbols, they'll help unite the clans'. What I liked about Roan was that he didn't pressure Sam to do those things; I wished Indra was like that sometimes. I put everything on reluctantly, finding Gaia at some point on our way to the meeting room; she eyed me up and down giving me a disapproving look, for she refused to follow a red-blooded leader. Sometimes I wished Sam would just take the reins of the place for both of us; after all, she was a Nightblood and they listened to her, but I also knew leaving her alone now would do her no good.