the world is a little blurry

022

We drove to Amber's farm in silence. The talking wasn't necessary, we were all yelling enough inside our heads, big questions were making our minds fuzzy.
Billie's hand didn't left mine for one minute and I was very grateful it didn't.

"O-Oh...(Y/n)!" Amber hugged me but something was off "Hi, Amber, where's Lia?" I went straight to the point too worried to be nice. Her face dropped "I-I don't-" She was interrupted by someone "Who is it?"

Amelia walked to the door and as soon as she saw us she went pale. Her hair was a mess, she looked so...Sick?

I ran towards her and hugged her as tightly as I could, tears flooding my eyes and I felt my shoulder getting drenched in tears "I-I'm so sorry..." Lia sobbed quietly as I tried to calm her down "Shh, it's okay...It's okay" I kissed her forehead and she sniffled looking me in the eye. Her eyes were dull. She smiled and her teeth were awfully yellow and some of them were missing "Lia..." I caressed her cheek "What happened to you?" I whined hugging her again "I'm sorry!" She chocked, she could barely breath. Lia took a deep breath and hugged Billie, I saw some tears running Billie's eyes and I embraced Amber. Bruno introduced himself and we all sat on the big table to talk.

"I-It's-" She stuttered and sighed "I started dating this guy. He was a dealer and...I started to get into..." She whipped her tears and I could tell it was hard for her to say "I got into meth, and all the types of drugs you could think of. The police got involved and- And we went to New York trying to...Escape, since he had friends that lived there. Jonathan started to beat me up, he used to-" She chocked again and buried her face into her hands and Amber rubbed her back "He used to sell me...To prostitute me... for drugs, and one day I got so...So tired of it, that I decided to go back home...I was just too ashamed and- And decided to hide here..." I bit my lips trying to hide my sobbing face.
I couldn't believe that my best friend got into this.
"Lia..." Billie held her hand and they hugged.
I looked at Amber and she whispered "She's going to be fine..."

"That day was insane..." Lia scoffed as Bruno and Billie laughed along. Amelia was so much different, she was more harsh sorta...She was so much cynical, wasn't the sweet innocent girl I met, she was shattered into pieces. I still love her and she will always be my friend. Pain changes people, and I get it.

"You guys are together again, huh?" She raised her eyebrow placing a cigarette between her lips and rested her head on her palm "Uhh...We are together as friends!" I laughed awkwardly as Billie rubbed the back of her neck smiling shyly "Jesus...You guys doing that friendship with benefits bullshit again?!" She scoffed and I shook my head slowly "Well...I mean-" Billie interrupted me "We are just happy like this" She smiled and looked at me looking for approval, so I smiled back.
"Uh-huh, you were meant for each other" She mumbled and lighted her cigarette. Honestly it was kinda comical to see her acting all different like that.
"What 'bout you?" She blew the smoke out and used her head to point at Bruno who jumped slightly "M-Me?" he pointed to himself and Lia nodded smirking "I think somebody gotta crush" I whispered to Billie as we giggled like middle schoolers "Oh...Uh, my name is Bruno hah...And uh, I met (Y/n) at campus" He smiled politely and Lia shot her head at me "Campus?! You got into college?!" I laughed "Yeah! UCLA" I answered excitedly as she walked over to me and gave me a hug "I'm so proud of you, baby..." I looked at her and couldn't help but wonder what things would look like if Lia didn't fucked up her life. We would live together at dorms, go to parties, pull all-nighters to study before tests...I felt tears on my eyes and Amelia put out her cigarette and cupped my cheeks "What's wrong?" I sniffled and felt Billie's hand lightly squishing mine "Nothing...It's just- I'm really happy to see you but I wanna kick your throat 'cause you fucked up your life...And I wonder how things could be different..." She sighed heavily and sat beside me "Uh...Bruno, how 'bout we visit the horses?" Billie stood up seeing we were having a friendship moment "Oh, i'm kinda scared of hor-" Billie shot her eyes at him and signed towards the door with her head which Bruno quickly realized and muttered an "Oh!" and just like that they left.

"Okay, you can tell me what really happened."
She sighed and shifted on her seat.
"Things at home were very shitty, (Y/n), you know that...I never wanted to let you know of how-" She rubbed the bridge of her nose stressfully "How bad it was! Getting beaten up every night, but oh! Stepdaddy made sure he used a towel! Why? Cause if you beat you kid with a FUCKING TOWEL IT WONT. LEAVE. MARKS!" Her chest moved rapidly as her breathing got faster and faster looking like she was on the verge of having a panic attack "Turns out rape doesn't leave marks either" She mumbled quietly. I looked at her horrified while rubbing her shoulder "Lia..." She looked up at me "I'm- I'm so sorry...Why didn't you tell me?" She scoffed "You couldn't do much...Plus...Our friendship was an escape for me, (Y/n). You did amazing things for me and i'm truly grateful, I just couldn't...I couldn't let you into my bullshit" She smiled sadly and I hugged her tightly "Let's move on now, 'kay? Let's start again! No secrets...Please" I whipped away my tears and she nodded "Now, let's look for those crackheads" She giggled and stood up.

We walked towards the barn and saw a very happy Billie and a kinda terrified Bruno playing with the horses "Bitch! He gonna fucking- OH MY GOD!" Bruno jumped when Whiskey sneezed and Billie laughed uncontrollably "Mammas!" She ran towards me and I hugged her, kissing her forehead "Whiskey! Maestro!" I petted the horses as they let out a happy huff "Missed you guys!" I giggled and hugged their snout.

Amber made her amazing cookies and we all munched like happy kids. After we were all stuffed, we decided to go home "Lia, are you coming with us?" I asked her in a soft voice and she looked to Amber who nodded reassuringly "Time to see mama, huh?" She scoffed and I let out a happy sigh and Billie cheered "She miss you a lot, Lia" I hugged her and we said goodbye to Amber "Thank you" She whispered while hugging me "She really needs you". I saw her whispering something to Lia to bit couldn't quite understand what they said.