Mantra

11

After we finish the movie I walk to my house and pack a backpack full of my clothes. I get my charger and a few things like deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrush and hair brush.

I got everything I need and when I'm back at Oliver's house he's still gone. He'll probably be back a bit later. His mom is in her room when I get back so I go upstairs and into Oli's room.

With a fresh pair of clothes I go into his bathroom. I put my clothes on the counter and start taking off my clothes. I look at the mirror and see I have slight bruising and my ribs from getting shoved into the wall and ground.

I look at the door making sure its unlocked,  it is. I'll have a panic attack if the door somehow got locked. Just as I think that the door opens. I meet eyes with Oli and I gasp.

My eyes widen but his neck catches me off guard even more then walking in on me while I'm completely naked. He has a new tattoo. I snap myself out of it and look at his eyes. They are looking down.. not to the floor but on my lower half. I turn around, I'd rather him see my ass them my dick and cut up thighs.

I look in the mirror and see him close the door and walks up to me. "Kellin, I appreciate the nice view but turn around," he says calmly.

I close my eyes and turn around. I'm being judged.. I'm exposed.

I hear him open a drawer so I look to see him getting rubbing alcohol out and cotton balls. I cut yesterday so some are still fresh..

He looks me in the eyes, "please don't do this to yourself love," he says and picks me up and puts me on the counter. I shyly cover myself with my hands and he cleans all of my cuts.

"Will you try to stop? Just talk to me instead.. or my mom, she could help you too," he says looking at me. I bite my tongue.

"I'll try.. but this is embarrassing can you please go?" I ask quietly.

"Of course love.. but, your body is beautiful. Dont feel too embarrassed," he says and kisses my forehead before leaving.

-

When I'm dressed and ready I find Oliver in his room looking at himself in the mirror.

"Let me see your tattoo," I say and go up to him. He looks at me and I look at the freshly tattooed rose. I smile, and he smiles back.

"You like it?" He says in a hopeful way.

"Of course! Did it hurt a lot?" I ask, it seems like it would hurt the worst.

"Not really but it was the weirdest feeling one so far," he says with a smile.

-

At school we separate and I go to my friends with a fake smile. They greet me happily. They probably really are happy.. I'm the only one living a lie.

I've been thinking about this whole thing.. I dont want to live so.. fake.. let me see how real I can get with them.
"You guys like me right?" I ask and justin smiles.

"Of course, your my best friend" he says and I kinda believe that. Justin always talks to me in every class we have together.

"Yeah your not my best find but your cool," jack says with a smile.

"Duh, but why?" Gabe says.

"Well I feel like if I acted any different than normal you guys will shun me," I say hoping just saying this will get me shunned.

They all start laughing..

"Dude, we are the ones about to get shunned," justin says pointing at the other two.