The Unshown Pain

Chapter 3

A/N: So its been a while (again). I had tried writing before, but I just didn't know where to take this story and had a bit of a writers block to be honest. After writing this, I felt as if this could actually just be a story on its own. I still am going to add different kinds of angst and more angst for Kurt, but I need to finish this storyline first. What do you think? I also believe in the first chapter I wrote that Kurt's room was downstairs, but I'm changing it to upstairs (as in season 3). Furthermore, I'd like to apologise for some spelling errors I wrote in previous chapters. I was reading everything today and saw some mistakes, sorry. Hope you enjoy this new chapter, if so, please let me know!

"Kurt? We're almost here kid." Kurt's attention was snatched by his father, he had been closely watching Blaine the entire car ride, still concerned. Blaine hadn't said anything, his eyes were open but the only thing he seemed to look at was the floor of Burt's car. "Oh, okay. Blaine? Honey, we're here. You ready?", Kurt asked his silent boyfriend. Blaine tilted his head a little, he now could see they were parked outside Kurt's house. He didn't say anything, just let his boyfriend move him out of the car. Kurt pushed Blaine's shoulders up and took his hand, Burt had already opened the door for them. "Should we just take him upstairs dad?" Kurt asked while looking at Blaine, holding on to Kurt as a lifeline, barely breathing. "No, let's sit on the couch first." Burt said to the smaller boy. He was still not answering and seemed to still be disorientated. "We're going to the couch Blaine, do you know where that is?" Burt asked scared. Blaine started to look around, tears forming in his eyes. He looked at Kurt, hoping he could help him. "Blaine shh. It's okay. You feel this?" Kurt asked while squeezing his hand. Blaine squeezed back, still looking at Kurt. "He can feel and move. He just squeezed my hand." Kurt said to his dad, trying to reassure them both. "You know where the couch is?" Kurt asked this time, Blaine squeezed again. Kurt looked at his father with a confirming look.

Burt pushed Blaine lightly in his lower back, Kurt leading him with his hand. "Let's sit down son" Burt said to Blaine. "I'm getting some water. Does he need anything right now Kurt?" he asked his son. "No just give us a minute. It'll be fine." Kurt answered while touching Blaine's hair. Burt went to the kitchen while Kurt sat next to Blaine, starting to put his arm around Blaine's shoulder. Blaine immediately accepted the embrace and laid his head on Kurt's chest. Kurt held onto him as tight as possible, still shaken. "I- I-" Blaine was trying to start a sentence, but sighed in defeat. Kurt just held him tighter and kissed the top of his curls. "Take your time" Kurt said. "I'm so sorry Kurt" Blaine said while starting to sob again. "Shh Blaine. You have nothing to be sorry about. Don't worry, this happens. Please just talk to me. Whatever you want to do, we'll make it happen." Kurt said while cupping Blaine's face. Blaine nodded and hugged his boyfriend. He started crying in Kurt's shoulder when he felt an unfamiliar hand on his shoulder. "You want some water bud?" Burt looked with sympathetic eyes. Blaine took the water, still his hands shaking. "Thanks, s-s-sir" he answered. Done with the water, he turned back to his boyfriend. He was so tired and fell asleep almost immediately. Kurt just sat there while talking to his dad. "Do you need anything else?" his father asked him quietly, not wanting to wake Blaine. "No I'm just going to stay like this for a while. He's exhausted, this is the worst attack I've seen in months. And he wasn't in his or my room. He held everything in." Kurt answered sighing. Blaine started waking up again, gasping for air. "Shh. It's okay" Kurt said softly. Blaine took the same position as his sleeping position, laying on Kurt, just not sleeping.

After about an hour of Blaine laying in Kurt's arms, Kurt thought it would be better to move to a safer place, this way he could ask Blaine about the panic attack. "Blaine?", Blaine looked up, his face significantly less pale and disoriented. "You want to-" Kurt was interrupted by his boyfriend smiling at him and nodding. "Yeah" he said with a sigh, "I-I-I'd like to". "Dad, we're just going upstairs okay?" Kurt asked, with Blaine holding onto him, still weak. "Sure. Let me help you bud." Burt said to the struggling boy. Blaine already had trouble with standing, let alone walking. Climbing the stairs was tougher than they had thought. Blaine was still so weak that he could barely move, Burt and Kurt had to put their arms under the boy. Blaine was trying with his eyes closed, he couldn't see much with his eyes open anyway. Halfway up, Burt stopped his son and said: "I'll just carry him Kurt, this isn't working." Blaine now had seemed to be very disorientated once again. He didn't even budge when Burt carried him up the remaining stairs.

Burt put Blaine on Kurt's bed, who seemed to be totally out of it. "Blaine buddy? You gotta stay awake for me, you're worrying us." Blaine opened his eyes and was about to speak when he could feel two familiar arms around him. "Where are you Blaine?" Burt asked, still not convinced about the whole disorienting situation. "I- uhm, uhm... Kurt". He didn't ask for help from his boyfriend this time, he meant he was with Kurt. The room he recognized and the arms did help him. "Okay good" Burt answered, and started looking at his son; "Look after him" he said with a pushing undertone. Kurt took Blaine's hands and rubbed them with his thumbs, hoping to be able to make Blaine focus again. He lied next to him, kissed Blaine's cheeks and neck. Blaine seemed to be returning to a relaxing state.

"Blaine", Kurt said with a quiet voice, "do you want something more comfortable to wear?" Kurt asked him, holding a hoodie and sweatpants in his hands. Kurt had got off the bed 5 minutes prior, lighting a scented candle. Blaine nodded. "I'll help you, come on, sit up honey. It won't take long, just stay like this." Kurt said when Blaine sat up. He took off Blaine's bowtie, cardigan and blouse. He kissed both sides of Blaine's shoulder and put the hoodie on. After finishing with the sweatpants, Blaine lied down again, wanting to sway in darkness. Kurt put his pyjama's on as well, and lied down next to his boyfriend. "So, what's going on?" Kurt asked as he wiped the left over tears from Blaine's face. Blaine closed his eyes even tighter, not wanting to answer. He started hyperventilating again and took Kurt's hand. "Shh. It's okay. I'm right here remember? You feel my grip?" Blaine had started crying again, but managed to nod at his significant other. "Shh don't worry" , Kurt lead Blaine's head to his shoulder with his free hand. It broke his heart to feel his body getting wet with his boyfriend's tears. Luckily Blaine was calmed down quite fast this time. "It's just" Blaine took a long pause, looking at Kurt, "it's the Karofsky thing. I'm sorry. I know I don't have the right to feel this way. I-I j-j-just" Blaine couldn't speak anymore. Kurt stroked Blaine's hair, not being surprised by the answer. They had talked about it the week it happened. Kurt knew about Blaine's mental health problems and Blaine knew about Kurt's struggles.

A/N: And I'm keeping it at that. It's already a lot and I actually have inspiration now, so I know where I'm going to take this story. Don't worry, it'll come! Thank you for reading and congrats on making it all the way to the (temporary) end.