The Unshown Pain

Chapter 4

A/N: I feel like I'm always apologizing for not posting another chapter, so I'm just not going to do that anymore. I will say, writing this chapter took me weeks!! To be honest, this chapter was really tough to write. I just didn't know how to write an easy to read story, with all my plans for the story. Anyways, I'm also starting another story about Blaine being hit by his dad. I know it's overdone, but I really dig those stories and I already have an idea for the storyline. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: this chapter contains flashbacks. I will write the flashbacks in cursive, so it'll be clear when the story is present or past.

"Blaine, you do have the right to feel this way. You don't have to suppress your feelings just because I'm hurting too." Blaine nodded, but was still crying. "I know, I just. It made me think about that thing we've talked about. And you, I really don't want to lose you. I really don't Kurt. I n-need y-you." Blaine stood up, pacing around the room. "I can't do it without you Kurt. Please don't leave me." Blaine was hyperventilating again. Kurt rushed towards him, holding him tight. "I wont leave you Blaine. Please just calm down baby, it's okay. I love you" Kurt wanted to cry, but he had to calm Blaine, who was trembling again. "I can't Kurt. I'm sorry. I really need it. I've been trying these past few weeks not to. But I- I need it. Please help me Kurt." Blaine started shaking and crying more. "I'm here. You will beat these few weeks, I'll be there to help you. You're stronger than you think Blaine." Kurt answered. They stayed in the embrace for a couple of minutes, comforting each other.

"Let's get some water okay?" Kurt looked at Blaine, he had so much terror in his eyes, it broke Kurt's heart. Kurt took Blaine's hand and led him downstairs. Every step they took, Blaine looked around himself, as if someone was there. Kurt stopped walking, halfway down the stairs, and watched him. Kurt knew Blaine could get out of his head, but multiple times in one day? He hadn't seen that in long time.

"Blaine?" Kurt touched his chin and turned Blaine's face to look at him. "You're at my house, remember? I'm here to help you." Kurt was worried, but hoped Blaine would be okay in a while. Blaine sighed and nodded "Okay". Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand, and started walking down the stairs again. Kurt could hear the television, happy his father was still there for assistance if needed. He also heard Blaine having trouble breathing once more, "Kurt", Blaine shook his boyfriends arm. They were now standing close by the entrance to the living room. "What's wrong? Everything's okay Blaine. You're doing really well. Hey, I love you." Kurt answered, but the worry was still imprinted on Blaine's face. "Sorry for-.... I don't want to be a burden. I should just wait here. I'll disturb everything, I'm already here which he doesn't like. I'm sorry." Blaine said while looking in the living room, clearly talking about Burt. Kurt's heart hurt, he didn't want his boyfriend to feel like a burden in his own home. He pulled Blaine into a tight hug, rubbing his back and kissing his cheek. "Let's go" Kurt said with a gentle, yet pushing voice.

It broke Burt's heart, hearing the boy talk. He loved Blaine as one of his own, and seeing him in such a state where these were his actual thoughts, was difficult. He almost wanted to run up to the kid and hug him, but knew Kurt had that duty for now.

"Hey dad" Kurt said softly, pulling his boyfriend to the kitchen. "We just going to drink some water." He said, looking at him with a 'keep an eye out' face. Blaine just stood there, looking right in front of him. Kurt was looking at his boyfriend, trying to make clear they were going to start walking again. "Blaine" Kurt said. "Right. Uhm- Hi sir." Blaine said and he let Kurt pull him into the kitchen. Kurt made him sit on a chair while he went to the drawers, looking for two glasses. Blaine knew they were going to talk what had happened today, but still he was so anxious. He started thinking about Karofsky again, which heightened his anxiety even more. He started digging his fingernails into the skin of his wrist. Hurting himself was bad, he knew. It just had happened one day, and then whenever he felt like drowning, he had something to ground him. Luckily Kurt didn't notice him, busy getting the drinks ready. Once all settled, Kurt sat close to Blaine. "Blaine" Kurt said in a worried voice. Blaine didn't look at his boyfriend. He kept his attention to his nails, giving him relief. "Blaine stop" Kurt said, this time more angry than worried. Kurt took Blaine's hand, the one busy with digging, and with Kurt's other hand, he rubbed the newly made wound. It took Kurt back to the first time he had learnt about Blaine's nasty 'habit'.