"Straight"

the things on your wrists shouldn't define you

Secretly, I don't want the kiss to end, but nothing good ever lasts. 

"Is that Dan and Phil?"

"What do they think they're doing?"

"Ewww!"

"Oh my god!"

Hearing the voices of some kids from school harshly snaps me back into reality and I shove Phil off of me, scrambling to get up. He looks around, horror filling his expression. I don't even stop to see which kids caught us, I just take off running. 

Fear consumes all of my senses and I have no idea where I'm going, not to mention I've completely forgotten that I can't go back home to my parents fighting. 

Where do I go now? All I can do is run. 

Damn Phil and his charming ways. Damn his pretty face and lovely personality. Damn him for kissing me while we're in public. If it were in his room then maybe things would've ended differently, maybe it'd be okay. 

But now it's over. I'm so fucking dead. Pretty soon, the whole school is gonna know and that means that the teachers will know and then my parents will be told and it's all gonna go to hell. Crap. I'm so dead. 

Why'd I have to be straight? Why couldn't it have been someone else? Why can't I just be who I am without any labels? Why do I have to live my life according to something that I can't control? Why, why, why? There's too many questions and not enough answers. 

I find myself slowing down as I realize that I have no clue where I am anymore. Nothing looks familiar. How many blocks have I run? 

Well that''s just great. Now I'm lost. 

I've never really left my neighborhood before so I'm not very accustomed to the area surrounding it. Why didn't I leave the house more often? Why couldn't I be more extroverted and adventurous? Wow, I've never wished for that before. 

And of course I left my phone at home. The one thing that could help me through this situation. Goddammit. 

What does it matter anyway? It's not like I want to go back. My life is officially ruined, so I might as well just get away. 

I mean, I'm only fifteen, so it's not like I can just run away and start my own life somewhere else. Maybe if I stole some of my parents money and got a job... No, I'd run out of money too quickly. Fifteen year olds usually can't get very good jobs, at least not enough to keep themselves on their feet. It could be worth a shot, but my parents don't have very much money as it is, and if I just up and left, someone would contact the authorities. 

So what am I supposed to do? I can't just go back, especially because I'm not quite sure where I am anyhow. 

I cross the street where there's a tattoo shop with a local bar right next to it. Maybe I can hide out around here for a little while to wait for things to cool down at home. 

Something about walking into a bar alone as a young teenager is kind of intimidating, so I keep my head low and put my hood up. I'm underage, so I'm technically not supposed to be here, but if I just keep quiet and stay close to the walls, I will hopefully go unnoticed. 

The sickening smell of alcohol hits me as I walk into the bar, getting a strange flashback of all the times my dad has yelled at me while he's intoxicated. 

That's when it dawns on me that this is probably where he goes to get most of his beer. What if he shows up while I'm here? Oh shit. I never thought about that. I'm so stupid. 

"Hey, kid. What're you doing here? You look a little lost," a blonde man chuckles while sipping his drink at the counter. 

I shrug at him, trying to pretend like I know what I'm doing. Obviously, I fail at it.