Love and War || A Sanders Sides AU

Chapter Eleven

You are all going to hate me... so much.

WARNINGS: abuse, manipulation, forced vomiting, rape, non-consensual touching, non-consensual kissing, violence, panicking, PTSD, nightmares, feeling hopeless, feeling trapped, injuries, Unsympathetic Patton, food mentions, being tied up, swearing.

I really don't have anything to say lol you're just gonna hate me.

"What are you doing?" Roman looked up when Patton spoke, standing in the doorway to the kitchen with his hands on his hips.

"Eating lunch," Roman replied, voice shaking despite himself.

"I told you not to." Patton reminded him. "Lo and Virge are out today."

"I was hungry," Roman said, fighting the urge to get up and run when Patton's face twisted into an angry glare.

"No." Patton stormed forward. "Roman, you know I don't like it when you disobey me. You know you get sick when you eat before-"

"About that." Roman swallowed his nervousness. "I don't... I don't like what's been happening lately."

"What?" Patton's eyebrows shot up and he watched Roman with a dangerous expression.

"Between us," Roman said softly, staring down at his sandwich. "I tried to tell you that I don't want it, but you refused to listen. And I don't want to do it anymore."

Patton slapped him - which Roman had expected. He hadn't expected Patton to slap him in the face - Patton never left a bruise where it would show. Roman's head snapped back, and the chair he was in nearly fell over. Patton grabbed it before it could, then pulled Roman out of it and to his feet.

"Patt-"

"Shut up!" Patton snapped, dragging him to the bathroom. What was he doing? Patton threw Roman down onto the floor by the toilet, then folded his arms. "Throw up," he demanded. Roman stared at him.

"Patton, please just-"

"Do it!" Patton yelled. "I told you not to eat and you did anyway, Roman! Now get it out before I do it for you."

Roman knelt in front of the toilet, hands shaking. Patton stood over him. Despite the fact that he'd planned to make Patton stop, Roman found himself obeying him instead. He shoved his fingers down his throat, and soon his stomach was empty once again.

Patton pulled him to his feet, kissing Roman's forehead gently.

"There, now that wasn't so hard was it, RoRo?" he giggled, wiping tears from Roman's face. "What did you think was going to happen, darling?"

"I want you to stop." Roman whispered as Patton pushed him back against the wall.

"What, you think that will end well for you?" Patton laughed harshly. "I'm not the only one in this relationship, RoRo. Did you forget that? You leave me, you leave Logan and Virgil. And the house. You don't have any place to go, so what did you think you would do?"

"I..." Roman blinked back tears. "I don't...I don't know."

"Of course you didn't." Patton smiled gently. "Because you don't think things through, RoRo. You don't even know who you are, do you?"

"No." Roman whispered, letting Patton pull off his shirt, despite the panic coursing through his body. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. This wasn't right. Patton was going to stop. Roman was going to make Patton stop. "No, Patton."

"No what?" Patton narrowed his eyes, gripping Roman's hips tightly.

"Let go of me." Roman's voice trembled and tears rolled down his face. He must have looked pathetic - he felt pathetic.