Nothing Runs Smoothly (Editing)

Chapter 26 - 'I'm here to chase away these tears,'

Carly's POV.

It hurts so much! All I want is a hug from my mum...knowing that I can't get one just makes it so much worse. I guess it's true when they say 'You always want what you can't have'. It was yesterday that she died, and I haven't been able to concentrate since. I’m pretty sure my eyes are going to dry out sometime soon with the amount of tears I have shed.

I’m bored of crying. It tires me out and doesn't resolve anything. It doesn't even make me feel better. Nothing will. My dad's been trying to find ways of cheering me up all day. Of course he's been my shoulder to cry on along with Jamie and Dawn. But they want to see me happy, and I think that's impossible right now. I wish they would stop joking around trying to make me laugh! I know Jamie is just as broken as me, but he is better at coping with it than I am. I guess he's the only one who really knows how I feel.

I clinched tighter onto my pillow as I sobbed into it again. I had soaked it's cover with my tears. I suddenly heard a faint knock on my door, I sighed and pulled my covers over my head. “Jamie go away!” I groaned the best I could through my sobs. “I'm fine!” I called in anger. I don't need him to fuss over me....it will only get him upset too. And that's not what I want to see.

I heard the door open...obviously Jamie just coming in after me asking him not to! Even after feeling him sit on the bed next to me, I stayed still, hiding under the covers wiping away my tears. “...Carly?” I heard a soft angelic voice call me. My heart jumped as I recognised the voice, and it wasn't Jamies. I peered out of my duvet to see him. “Kris!” I cried leaping into his arms. As soon as I felt him hug me back something in me calmed. Being close to him makes me feel just that fraction better.

He wrapped his whole body around me letting me cry into his chest. I inhaled his comforting scent and gripped onto him. He didn't need to say anything, just him being here is enough for me. My fists tightened as I grasped on to the back of his t-shirt.

Kris moved up in the bed so that he could lean against the headboard. He then pulled me onto his lap and suffocated me with cuddles. “Your dad called me.....” he said softly running his fingers through my hair. “Mmm..” I mumbled into his chest as a response, “Finally dad had a good idea today,” I said wiping my face dry with my sleeves. I noticed my hands were shaking, I took a deep breath trying to calm myself.

Kris kissed my forehead and gently tucked my hair behind my ear. “I'm so sorry Carly...” He whispered. I shook my head and finally got the courage to look up at him. His beautiful eyes searched mine with concern. He quickly wiped away a tear that I didn’t realise I released. “I can't even imagine how you must feel...” he whispered.

“Thank you Kris....but don't be sorry,” I croaked. He let out a sigh as I rested my head on his shoulder.“I'm so glad you're here Kris...” I told him with a tear streaming down my left cheek. It was true...having him with me makes everything just a little bit easier. I feel comfortable in his arms, I feel safe and not alone.

Dad must have realised that Kris is just what I need right now. I can't be bothered with anyone else, all want is to be with Kris while my heart bleeds. I usually hate crying in-front of people, I always feel like a burden, as if they have to comfort me. But right now, I don't feel that way...I know Kris understands.

I have no idea how long I lay in his embrace for. It felt like forever. Eventually I stopped crying, theoretically because I had no more tears left. I relaxed into Kris as he moved us down into the duvet together, keeping me warm. He lay facing me, pouring his eyes into mine whilst stroking my hair. His touch left a tingling trail making me quiver. Somehow just looking into his eyes helped to conceal all the pain. There's something about Kris that makes me feel...lighter. As if all the weight on my shoulders reduces just slightly when he looks at me with those loving eyes.