⛔ON HOLD⛔It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I am Thinking it Must Be Love

I've Git Troubled Thoughts & a Self-Esteem to Match. What a Catch..

(Patrick's POV)

"45 minutes, ..46 minutes!" I yelled to Andy. "Calm down, he''ll be here. And I heard he's bringing a lady friend." Andy said seductively, slightly shimmeing his chest, & raising an eyebrow. Joe walked to the frame of the door and propped his body against it. "It's his friend, Ambur, she's pretty cool. I think you guys will like her.. plus, she's got a rockin' body!" Joe made an hour-glass shape in the air and slightly thrusted his hips. I rolled my eyes & scoffed. Whilst thrusting, Pete brusted in & threw his hands in brusted in & threw his hands, hollering "Your king has co--!" He stopped, noticing Joe stop mid-thrust & turn toward him. Wide-eyed & a new shade of red I've never seen before, as he scratched his scalp.

"Anyway,.. I have someone I'd like you guys to meet." Just as I opened my mouth to yell at Pete, a stunning figure walked in. Her auburn hair perfectly cascading over her breasts, her flat stomach obvious behind a right "Nirvana" t-shirt. And her perfectly tanned legs stopping her beside Pete. I started at her face, all her features perfectly placed and not a single flaw to be seen.

Snap, snap. "Close your mouth, bro. You might swallow a fly." Pete said, causing her to giggle, flashing a dimple. I hadn't realized my mouth was gaped, I quickly shut it feeling a heat consume my face. "Guys, Ambur. Ambur, guys." Pete introducing us as 'guys', giving her a path from her to me. She walked toward me as her hair bounced with her every step.

She held out a dainty hand & spoke with a voice smooth as silk. "Ambur." her pearly-whites blinding me as I smiled a goofy smile and grabbed her soft hand. "Pete." she arched an eyebrow. "You mean, "Patrick"?" "Isn't that what I said?" my cheeks got hotter. The humiliation was like poring gasoline on a roaring flame. She giggled and dropped her hand, turning to Andy.

"Andy?" she asked, holding out her hand. "Ambur.. Oh, no. I'm a hugger." that cheeky bastard said. She blushed and walked into his open arms. a sudden wave of jealousy hit me as I quickly turned away. I felt sick, I feel like I'm gonna.. Explode. (Soul Punk Reference anyone?) "You okay?" Pete asked as he approached me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I let out a little- not so -reassuring noise and an awkward nod. "What am I-- chopped liver?" Joe said in a Jersey accent.

His arms out in front of him, with a grin from ear-to-ear. She ran over to him, embracing him for a good while. "I missed that fro." she said, looking up at him. "I missed those sticks." he said in a dumb voice, looking at her legs. She laughed, "These stubby things." he scoffed and released her, kicking her butt playfully toward Pete. She let out a squeal and stopped beside Pete.

I've never wanted to punch him harder. Pete wrapped his arm around her shoulders, looking down at her. She was only an inch shorter, but she was the cutest height. "Why don't you go chat with the guys, I need to talk to Pat for a sec, eh Rose?" "Sure thing, buttercup." she joked, bumping her hip on his, and flashed me a smile before walking to the guys. I chuckled awkwardly until I was suddenly pinned in a corner, out of their sight. "You like her!" he said in a Hudson whisper. "Do not!" i hissed back. I feel like I'm in grade school again.. But I do, I really do. "Please! Your jaw almost hit the ground! I don't think I've ever seen you so hung up on a girl before." "Dude, .." I stopped him, looked at the ground, shifting my feet a little.

"She'll never like me back." on the brink of bursting into tears, because I know what I am.. and I know what she is. I looked up at Pete. His face confused, slightly ticked off. "Why not? You're an incredible person." I sighed, not wanting to state the obvious. "But.. I'm.. fat."

"Fat?" he repeated. He looked at me as if I insulted him. "You don't know her like I do. She is an amazing person & if you think she'll refuse to date you because you're .. fat .. then you obviously don't deserve her. Some people actually look past the exterior." He spat out that god-forsaken word like it physically made him sick to say it. But maybe he's right. "I'm sorry.." I mumbled. "You're perfect the way you are." I smirked at him scratched my head.

"How 'bout I do my little Patty Cakes a favor.. I've got a plan."

Hope you enjoyed it! Not my favorite.. Love ya, Monkeys! XO!

Title comes from "What a Catch, Donnie" by Fall Out Boy, from their studio album Folie a Deux (2009)