Primed for Sin (18+)

42

Riley

   A week.
That's how long it's been since I've had any human interaction. That's how long it's been since I've eaten. That's how long it's been since I've gotten out of bed. That's how long it's been since I've showered or even brushed my teeth. That's how long it's been since I've cried or felt emotion. That's how long it's been since I've looked at myself in the mirror and brushed my hair. That's how long it's been.
   A week.

  I sat up in the bed and looked down at my hands. My nails were dirty and long. I looked down at myself and cringed. All I wore was a long black shirt, that's all I've worn for a week. I've laid in this bed for a week straight. I can't shake the image of Xavier out of my head. He was just laying there, blue-hued lips and cold, pale skin. That's all I think about.

Once Dante calmed me down after my mental breakdown, he and Lorenzo brought me back to Rodolfo's headquarters. I walked in my own room and that's where I've been up until now. I stood up and checked the time. It's three in the morning. No one is awake except me.

I walked in the bathroom and sucked in a deep breath before I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I wailed at the sight of myself. I had dark rings around my eyes and my eyes didn't seem to have that full of life look they used to hold. My eyes were dull, tired, and numb. My lips were cracked and bloody from me picking at them out of habit. Xavier used to beg me to stop...

I looked at the sink and snatched the toothbrush out of its holder. I put it underwater and put toothpaste on it, scrubbing my teeth vigorously. It hurt to touch my teeth with the brush after so long. My gums bled and I spit it out, gurgling water afterward. After putting my toothbrush up, I grabbed the hairbrush and started in. I cried out in pain when the brush came to halt at my tangles. I sucked in a deep breath and brushed my hair so quickly it hurt and instantly numbed. I winced as I put the hairbrush down on the counter and seen all of the hair that fell out of my head from brushing. My hair broke off in split ends and being dead. I walked over to the bathtub and ran a hot bath, putting lavender bubbles in it to soothe my nerves. I peeled the shirt off of me and threw it in the bin.

I walked over to the tub and turned the water off, stepping into the tub. I winced from the scalding hot water, but recovered quickly and sunk my body into the bubbles. The bathroom door open and I looked up. Dante stood there with a small smile playing on his lips. He walked over to the tub and stripped out of his clothes, sliding in behind me. An involuntary cry spilled from my lips as my back sunk into his embrace. He held me tight as I silently wept and cooed sweet nothings into my ear.

I leaned forward and Dante grabbed the shampoo, gently massaging it into my scalp. I moaned underneath his touch and he rinsed my hair of the shampoo. He did the same with the conditioner. He took the loofah and started washing my back as I shivered from my thoughts.

Xavier, my big brother that I always looked up to, was dead. He wasn't coming back and there was nothing I could do about it. Xavier was my hero. He saved me from Richard countless times and he saved me from myself. He always knew just what to say and when to say it. He knew how to protect me and what to protect me from and in a way, Dante and Xavier shared that. Xavier might not have said it to Dante, but he gave me to him. Xavier was okay with giving me to Dante because he knew that man would take care of me.

In a way, Xavier would always be with me and he wouldn't want to see me like this. He always told me that if something were to happen to him, he'd want me to flourish in life and not think twice about him. Of course, I could never not think about my savior. Xavier always did his best to provide for me and him. He always supported me in any way I needed. He made sure to keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies.

I shaved everything as Dante continued to wash me and himself. Afterward, I leaned against him and he wrapped his arms around me- bringing me closer to him. I traced the tattoos on his hands and his palms and I felt Dante shiver under my touch. I smiled slightly as I moved upwards to trace the marvelous ink that laid upon his arms.

"I need you." I whisper, not trusting my own voice.

"You have me." Dante replied lowly and I nodded as a tear slipped out of my eye.

Dante pushed me forward gently and stepped out of the water, drying himself off before he helped me out. He let the water drain as I dried myself off and he led me to his room with nothing but towels around us. When we reached his room, he led me to the bed and I climbed in after taking the towel off from around me. He placed his silk sheets and comforter over me as he climbed in on his side of the bed and covered himself up as well. I faced him and looked into his green eyes. They held sadness, sadness and worrying for me.

I reached up and caressed his face, I felt stubbles of hair growing in a beard, "Please stop worrying about me, I'm okay."

He frowned slightly and kissed the palm of my hand.

"Riley, I'll always worry about you." He said as he looked into my eyes with an emotion I couldn't decipher.

My eyes held tears as I sucked in a deep breath. Love.

I love this man of mine.

"I love you, Dante De Luca." I whispered as tears fell out of my eyes, I looked down. Suddenly the atmosphere changed and his fingers gathered under my chin to lift my eyes towards his.

"I love you, Riley Wilson. Never fucking forget that."

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A/N: dun dun dunnnnn.... they finally said it!! Please don't forget to comment and vote! <3