Women In War

11

"Te amo."

The words were a whisper, deafening her more than the rush of wind. She heard them again as arms wrapped around her and she could only see the blue sky above. She forgot to scream. She heard them again and began to wonder if he were really whispering them in her ear or if she were imagining it all.

Perhaps she was imagining it. Perhaps this was all a bad dream and she would wake up on that cliff about to undertake the very same mission.

As the wind whipped her hair around her face, she remembered her decision to get it cut so short. She remembered Bucky's gaping expression when he first saw her.

"You don't like it?"

"No! No, you look amazing, Magpie! I'm just really going to miss braiding your hair for you when you're working."

"Aw, Buckwheat, do you really think it suits me?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I think you look like a million bucks! I would--"

The memory flew from her mind as sharply as her landing was. The arms that had been around her fell limp. She gasped for air, struggling to remember procedures she had learnt to give other people. She struggled to speak. If she could speak, she could breath.

But she didn't want to. She knew what waited for her when she found the energy to move again. She knew, but if she didn't confirm, she couldn't be right.

Wincing with each movement, Maggie rolled to her side, her face meeting the cold snow. She wanted to lay there and never get up. She wanted to follow him. She wanted to go wherever he was gone.

But she knew she couldn't. He wouldn't let her. He would have helped her get up. But he couldn't, could he?

Maggie hissed and groaned as she pushed herself up. "Bucky," she grunted, hoping he would answer. "Hey, Buckwheat."

She would have given her left arm to hear him call her Magpie.

"Bucky?"

She crawled back to him and shook his shoulder. She'd begun to shiver. "Bucky, this isn't funny. Bucky, we have to move."

Denial. It was not a pleasant state. She had seen several people refuse to accept what doctors told them. She had seen several people reguse to read official letters they received. She always wondered how could someone be presented with cold, hard facts and still deny them. She didn't understand now even, but she would later.

She shook his shoulder, grabbing a fistful of his blue jacket. "Bucky! Get up!"

Maggie's teeth knocked together as she cursed at him in every language she knew. She begged and begged, but nothing changed. He didn't open his eyes. His chest neither rose nor fell. He didn't move. Maggie screamed and cursed and yelled and threatened, but she couldn't bring herself to shake him as violently as she wanted to, hoping to shake him awake.

Becky.

Becky was waiting for him. For her to bring him back.

If she couldn't bring him back alive, she had to take him home to her. To Alice and Evelyn. To George and Winnifred. To her father. Home.

She sniffed and wiped her tears before they froze. She searched Bucky for the radio they'd fitted him with before sending him after Steve on the zipline.

She fiddled with it for a moment, hearing nothing but static.

"Doug? Doug, do you read me?"

The static continued. She fiddled with the buttons further.