Last night was the best night of my life. When Chris dropped me back at home we shared another intense kiss together. To say he was anything less than a perfect kisser would be a sin. The boy had my head spinning and my heart pounding. I never fully got how or why girls said they felt sparks after kissing a cute boy, but now I could fully understand that statement. Chris had me feeling like every kiss was the 4th of July.
After I calmed down, I headed inside to a dark house. Thats at least what I thought until a lamp turned on and I saw my mother sitting in the living room with her long brown legs cross and her phone in her hand. She glanced up at me with eyes I couldn't pinpoint an emotion to. I gulped to myself afraid of what words would pass through her sharp lips.
"Were you with the white boy again?" she asked watching my body carefully ready to catch the slightly movement for a lie to pass my lips.
"Yes ma'am."
She looked at me. She just looked. For at least two minutes straight in uncomfortable silence.
"When will I meet him properly?"
First I would like to give thanks to the head of my life, Black Jesus, for getting me here in life when I wanted to quit. Next I would like to think Shy for being my first real girl best friend who stuck beside me through the rain, sun, and hail. You a real one baby. And last I would like to thank-
"Jace! Girl I know you hear me talking to you! Your ass almost about late walking into this damn house now you have the nerve to ignore me when you hear me asking a simple plain question."
"No mama! No! No," I quickly lowered my tone, not wanting to get loud with her when she is upset. "I was not ignoring you, I just spaced out. I'm surprised that you would actually want to meet another one of my friends. A guy at that."
"Why is that so... oh. Jace I guess its time we umm... talked huh. Sit down." I sat on the soft deep velvet red couch that I used to love running my fingers across as a child to see the different types of shapes I could make. "I'm very sure over the years your father has been gone you have picked up on my poor excuse behavior as a mother to you. No child should have to lose a parent at such a young age then on top of that feel like the are losing the love of the other. When your father died I was just so.. hurt. I fell apart without him. He was my best friend, my first love, kiss, touch, my first everything. When I didn't know what to do or who to turn to, your father was always right there holding my hand telling me it would be ok. When I got pregnant with you and was on my bathroom floor bailing my eyes out he was there holding me telling me it will be ok. When that night came, and I got that call, he wasn't there. I needed him there to tell me everything would be ok, but he wasn't so it wasn't. I needed Malcom more than any other time that night. I still need him. Just look at what type of parent I become to you. He wouldn't be proud of me!"
I heard it. The cry of a broken woman for a very long time. "Mom.."
"Jace I am so sorry for the way I acted over the last years. I didn't realize until I hear the way Terrell would talk about you in front of me to his friends on his phone. It disgusted me, but then I reflected on myself. Is this really the man I want around my daughter. My daughter. My child. The being Malcom and I gave life to. When I seen you two in the car together I knew. A mother always knows and that's when I decided to start doing right. Malcom left this Earth with you in my care and I'll be damn if someone like that hurts you. You don't have to forgive me Jace. You don't have to love me after the way I treated you for so long. All I'm asking is for you to lis-"
She didn't get to finish before I attacked her with a strong hug. I held her. I held her like the way I wanted her to hold me for years. I missed her so much. I didn't know just how bad my mother was hurting over my father. I understood the resentment towards me. The love of her life died for me. I'm no longer blaming myself because she no longer blames me. My father's passing was something that hit us to the core. My mother was broken. I could hear it as she gave full cries out on to my shoulder. I was also broken as I did the same to her. My father's death broke us when I was 11 years old. Now seven years later we are healing each other. We were all we had left and we didn't know just how bad we needed each other to heal.
"I love you mom."
"I love you too Jace."
And last I would like to thank my father. You left me at a young age, and it put me through a trail I would never think I would see the end of but I did. You showed me I could still be strong when I was constantly knocked down. You showed me I could still be loved when I was always left alone. You showed me, your daughter, that broken people could be healed after they been shattered. I love you Daddy. Thank you.
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Soooooo clearly I took a fat ass break from this book and really was not going to finish it until I seen the comments begging me to update. I read everyone's comment so yall telling me to update really do help. lol I listen. But yea, how do yall feel about Jace's mom finally opening up to her? are you here for it or yall still don't fool with her? comment and let me know. :) I might just got another update for ya ;)
