in and out of love

twenty one

This is absolute shit. I'm very sorry.

After their little moment, Harry hesitantly agreed to sleep on Louis' bed while Louis took the couch after putting Kate to sleep.
Louis was just about to doze off until he heard a voice above him.

"Louis?"

"Harry? What's wrong?" Louis sat up and patted the space beside so that Harry could sit if he wanted to.

"Couldn't sleep, I hardly sleep anymore." Harry shrugged. "Would you- could you sleep beside me? Only if it's alright..."

"You want me to?" Louis wants to.

Harry nods. "Please," he barely whispers.
After lying down on the bed, Harry pulled Louis on to his chest, draping his arms around his slender waist, and intertwining their legs, warmth filling up between their bodies. Shivers ran up on Louis' spine, it has been so many days, so many months since he had an intimate contact with Harry. "I'm sorry, it was an immediate gesture, I'll move away-"
"Shut up, I like it."

.

It was 3 am, the moonlight was pouring into the room and both, Louis and Harry are tangled up in the middle of the queen size bed, wide awake still. It was silent, a comfortable one, much needed silence. They just wanted to breathe in each other for the time being and Louis was desperate to release quite a bit of the tension that has been lingering around ever since Harry entered the house.

"I was so scared, you know." Louis mumbles into Harry's chest.

It felt like home. Harry's chin resting on top of his head, his smell, his hard chest, tattoos splattered around on his torso, his arms gripping his waist; it felt so good and he has been emitting content sighs once in a while.

"I thought I was going to die Harry, I was seconds away from killing myself." Harry tightens his arms around his waist and buries his nose into Louis' hair. It smells like the typical coconut flavoured he always loved.

"I'm sorry, Lou. I mean it, I wish you knew."

"I know, I'm just- I," and Louis stops abruptly.

"Go on." Harry urges.

"I'm afraid you'll leave me again, are you going to leave me again?" His voice was so broken, so vulnerable, Harry clammed up Louis even more closer, their naked torsos pressing. He peppers kisses around Louis' face by tilting his chin up.

"No, no, that's never ever going to happen," Harry says, tears flowing down freely, his face still very proximal to Louis'.

Louis looked up and brushed those tears off Harry's cheeks, "Don't be sad, Harry, please."

"I hurt you, so bad, and I can never forgive myself for it."

"Do you still want me?" Louis asks.

"Yes, a million times."

"Then don't think about it anymore, I'm happy that you're still alive, how could you even think of doing that Harry?"

"I didn't know what else to do. I lost everything and I was so fucked up in every way possible, I found no point in living if you didn't need me, Lou, and I couldn't bear the pain I was feeling on an everyday basis."

Louis was still peering at Harry who was just curiously watching him. Even after all these years, Harry still finds Louis absolutely enthralling- sharp cheekbones, eyes blue like the Atlantic, thin pink lips, slight stubble making him more handsome and rugged. Louis Tomlinson is the epitome of beauty, Harry thinks and always has thought so.

They work together amazingly even though they are staunch opposites in many things, in fact most of the things. Harry really loves Louis. Louis really loves Harry.

"I love you," Harry whispers, their eye contact still intact.

And Louis' breath got held up in his damn throat.

"Say it again." Louis says back in the same frequency.

"I love you so much, Louis Tomlinson." Harry grins.

"Fuck you, I mean, Harry, it's been so long, god," Louis tears up. "I love you so much."

They should be okay.