in and out of love

nineteen

By the time Louis gets back, he finds Harry sleeping with dry tear tracks and furrowed eye brows, and Zayn was sitting on one of the brown sofa, gulping and biting his lip to stop himself from breaking down.

Louis shuffled across the room and sat down beside Zayn. "Hey," Louis says.

"What is happening?" Zayn asks, looking at him, his eyes a bit- tired.

"I don't know, Zayn, I really don't know."

"You know what he said?"

Louis just stares at Zayn, urging him to continue.

"He said he wanted to die, Louis, he said he doesn't want to stay alive anymore, he's massively fucked up..without you." Zayn says, rubbing his face, taking a deep breathe.

Louis squeezes his eyes shut so tightly trying to cease those imminent tears, the thing is Louis is lost, he's confused, now he curses himself for not having a proper eloquent conversation with Harry, instead he just threw his wedding ring on to his face in a very brutish manner.

"I don't know what to do, I don't even know if he's going to believe me if I tell him that I want to start over, like, fuck, I just don't know."

"You both always escape, it's not the only option you know, leaving is not the only fucking option, you both need to communicate, just talk." Zayn says, throwing his hands up.

Louis nods, they both really need to talk irrespective of if they're going to get back together or staying away from each other. As much as Louis wants the first option, it should be a mutual decision, so nothing is really in his hands alone.

"Where are the others? Where's Kate?"
Louis asks, realisation hitting him, the hallway was empty when he got back and it was just him, Zayn and Harry in the room.

"Visiting hours were done, but the doc let me stay for some reason," Zayn shrugs. "Niall and Neville took Kate to a park or something, she was kind of crying for you, and um- Cody came along too after you went out."

"Oh."

"I didn't know he'd come,"

"It's alright," Louis smiles. "What about Anne?"

"She doesn't know yet, according to Liam. We didn't want to tell her, she's already going through a divorce and we didn't want to tell her about Harry, I know she's his mum but he's okay now."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it."

"You know, after you left, he was bawling, he thought he scared you off and all, he was literally shaking and Louis, even I thought you left for real."

"What? Zayn, I needed time to digest everything, it was so hard for me-"

"He's broken," Zayn interrupts.

"I know."

"So are you." Zayn points at Louis. "You both need each other in order to stay happy, you think you're okay Louis, but you're not, you're far from it."

"I am okay."

"Keep saying that to yourself, I've known you since high school, you're still the same, so distant, you're mind drifting off somewhere. You might shatter any moment and that scares the fuck out of me, except when you're with him, he brings colours in your life Louis, sure he made some big blunders but just please assume it's an obstacle in your forever. He loves you, try forgiving him."

"I was- I was never angry at him, it was mostly on myself that I failed at keeping him happy." Louis quickly glances at Harry's sleeping form.

Zayn reaches forward and places a comforting hand on top of Louis', like an assurance.

"Hey, stop beating yourself too much, stop thinking about that thing which happened almost two years ago. Think about what you want to do next."

"I love him Zayn, I always did and I'm going to tell him that, I'll try to piece us back together....that is, if he wants." Louis says softly, tears prickling in his eyes.

"He'll always want you."

/\

Hi!

I realllllly need you guys to comment?

70 votes and 30 Comments...please.