When I was little I always believed that happiness was a trap. I still do. But that's the perks of being a pessimistic person. Every time something good happens something bad happens. I never have been the happiest of children due to my mothers illness, my father leaving, being bullied or my many addictions. It's scary, one minute you can be happy, your crush of many years kissing you next thing you know your sat alone in your bathroom crying because you know it's too good to be true.
I pull myself up off the floor and sit on the edge of the bath I look into the mirror. What am I going to do. I feel my life crumbling around me.
"I'm sorry Derek" I say under my breath.
A couple of months ago I started smoking. I pulled on my coat and walked down to the little convenience store and bought a packet of cigarettes. I knew I should quit but why should I. I walked to the park near my house. I sit on the park bench and pull out the packet of cigarettes I light the cigarette and as I take a smoke of it relief flushed through my body. It wasn't because of the nicotine it was the fact that I was slowly poisoning my body. When the cigarette was about half smoked I rolled up my sleeve and placed the cigarette on my arm burning it in the process. Normally this would make me feel better but it wasn't doing it it just made me even more broken. I felt a tear roll down my face so I frisky stood up placed the cig into a cig bin and went back to my apartment. As I walked up to my door I saw Derek stood outside my apartment. I stunk of smoke I couldn't let him see me so I quickly ran down the stairs and back into the park. I sighed. I walked back to the store and bought some spray and also some things so when I walked back it would make some sense. When I payed for the items I sprayed my coat and clothes and headed back up to my apartment. He was still there.
"Where have you been I have been worried sick," he said flustered
"I just popped to the store," I said
"What about your phone, wait to show me your pockets," he said.
" let's get into the apartment first I'm cold," I said. Secretly I was going for us to be called into work.
"fine," he said
I opened the apartment and passed him my bag of things I bought from the store and as he looked through the bag I quickly hid the packet of cigarettes in another jacket. And passed him my normal jacket.
"Sorry spencer, it's just after last time I am worried," he said as he passed me back my things.
" It's fine," I say as I sit on my sofa
He sat next to me and looked me in my eyes.
"What's going through that genius brain of yours," he said ruffling up my hair.
"Do you believe in fairytales?" I asked
"It depends on princesses with long magical hair no not really but happily ever after yeah, I do. I believe that once you find that love of your life you will live happily ever after together" he looked at me in the eyes "Do you"
"No, I don't believe in anything like that I believe that you can't live happily ever because life is never happy," I say rather bluntly.
"I never thought of it like that, are you having second thoughts about us," he said as he held my hand
" it's too good, you are worth so much more than me you deserve a proper man, not me," I say
"No please don't say that I love you for you I love how you spurt out random facts I love how you love Halloween, I love how passionate you are about your job," he said smiling
I fell into his arms crying. He just put his arms around me and let me cry. He rubbed his arm up and down my back and soothed me. When I finally stopped crying I felt better not 100 percent but better than earlier.
"I never answered our question," I say as I wipe my eyes. He looked at me confused "yes, yes I do want us to work" I said smiling at him. He swept a piece of my hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear.
"Good because you are always good for me you are perfect you are the man of my dreams" he pulled me in and gently kissed my lips and them pulled away.
"have you been smoking," he asked
"i don't smoke, it is smokey in the park though," I said
"oh, I'm sorry for asking I should know that you wouldn't smoke" he hugged me before standing up.
"Hopefully we have this weekend off work so shall we do something," he asked me.
"Yeah we should," I say smiling
"I will plan it all okay," he said as he walked towards the door
"See you then" I smiled and waved as he walked out.
Maybe fairy tales are true but I had a bad feeling about this.
YOU ARE READING
Criminal minds secrets
FanfictionA bunch of secrets will be revealed in this book. Don't like the ship don't read it is very simple. Also don't be a dick with nasty comments I don't own any of the criminal minds characters but their are some people I have made up
