Criminal minds secrets

Life or death

Derek's pov
When I walk into the room I see that the nurse or doctor has put him in a hospital gown I see his arms, they were covered in burns, cuts, scars. I sat next to him and started the scars going up and down his arms. When Jj and Garcia saw those they cried even though no one talked about it. I stay and held Spencer's hand while I cried. It was about 7 am. I told everyone to go home and get some rest. I laid on the bed with my pretty boy. "why did you do this kid there must be an explanation."

I laid next to him for hours just talking to him when a doctor came in and took spencer away from me. I waited in his room for him to come back. He came back and a doctor came into the room with a clipboard, I had a feeling it was going to be bad news.

"Are you a relative of spencer?" he asked

"no, I'm his boyfriend," I said through tears

"well sir" he said

"just call me Derek please" I said looking at him

"We were doing different types of scans on his body, especially his brain, his brain activity seems to be slowing down, you all might want to prepare for the worst."

That was when I lost it I cried and cried. I knew I would have to call the team. I sent a text to the group chat

DM: Guys you should get to the hospital, it looks like Spencer won't make it.
PG: What, no no please tell me your joking
JJ: I am going to bring Henry, he needs to say goodbye
AH: Jj that's probably not the best idea, you don't want to see spencer how he is
EP: He is right JJ
JJ: you're right I don't want him to see me like this, what's going on Derek
DM: his brain activity is slowing down and his heart rate is still low, please come I need you here.
Dr: I'm already on my way.

Spencer's pov.
When I hear Derek say boyfriend I was lost, could I put him through all of this pain and torture. I was starting to change my mind maybe I did actually want to live and not die. It was all too much. I walked out of the room to see Rossi coming in, why haven't they invited my mom. I stood and looked into the window where I saw my body lying and thought that it was probably the best. If she saw me like this her illnesses would make her worse, oh my what have I done. Not only did I make a mess of my life but a mess of my moms, the team and Derek, I looked at Rossi he had tears. Why did I feel so bad?

Derek's pov
Soon enough the full team was here again.

"Should we ring his mom?" I asked.

"No, Spencer always told me not to until he is dead because he doesn't want to stress her out and make her deteriorate." Jj said

"yeah, it will probably be for the best." Hotch said

We all sat and talked to him we saw his heartbeat drop even more. We sat and talked amongst ourselves about what we were going to do about his funeral, we all had lost hope we all knew today and possibly tomorrow was our last days with him. We were preparing ourselves to tell his mom, we were told he might not even make the night, all it was, was a waiting game .

~~the next day~~
Derek's pov
I wake up to see that he had survived the night. It was 8 am when they wheeled him off for more tests and when Jj, Will, and Henry all arrived. Will walked up to me and said how sorry he was.

"Hey Derek, you should get showered, he will still be a bad thing to smell and if there is any slight change we will ring you okay," JJ said. I agreed I smelt really bad

I didn't want to go back to my place or even spencers place but I knew I had to go and get some clothes. I decided to go to Spencer's place because it was closer to the hospital than mine and I had clothes at his place.

Spencer's pov
I see Morgan leave while Jj, Will, and Henry all sat in the room waiting for me to be wheeled back into there.

"Spencer," said a voice
I turned around to see David Smiths
"What, what do you want from me," I ask looking at him

"tick-tock Spencer times running out" he said before disappearing once again.

The full day was full of the team saying goodbye, rossi went first,
"i guess we did take that big brain of yours for granted, I'm sorry that we couldn't save you kid, I hope you know that you'll be greatly missed. I know that this isn't goodbye it's a see you later friend, I'm sorry we couldn't help you and rescue you from your own mind" he walked out of the room.

Hotch was up next
"i never got to say how much we needed and appreciated you on this team, I wished you talked to one of us, I wish we saw the signs. This just shows how much more we have to learn about profiling, I promise that I will make sure Derek doesn't follow in your footsteps. I'm sorry spencer.

I cried ghostlily tears

Emily went next.
"Spence, I don't know what to say this was a wake-up call I guess to know that people who seem the happiest are the most vulnerable and suicidal. I still can't believe you took your own life, I don't know if you are in pain or not but I know we all are and yeah this was selfish, you did it to save yourself. I know in time we will be able to forgive you but we are all in shock, I love you spencer you was like my little brother.

Then went Garcia:
"my boy genius, why, why couldn't you talk to me about anything I mean self harm, that's dangerous and I noticed all those needle marks Spencer why, why did you feel like your life was worth ending, I wish I could say nice thing but I know how you feel feeling like you finally get to be free, I'm sorry, I can't spencer, goodbye.

Jj went after
Wow, I can't believe that this is the end of the road, we have had some fun times and yeah we have had some bad times but I looked to you as a brother and I still see your face when I asked you to be henrys godfather, we all live you you know we know how you just wanted to be happy, suicide is never the answer though Spencer, I already buried my sister I didn't want to be burying you, I love you Spence thank you for being the best brother yet, see you soon.
Henry was sat on the bed holding my hand while crying
"uncle 'pence I miss you, I want to play but mommy said you are leaving us to a better place pwlease don't weave uncle 'pence"

I felt guilty. I watched my heart rate start to drop even more it went from 60 to 30. Before long Derek was back in the hospital and he was saying his goodbyes
"You have shown me what love is and what it feels like to be loved. Every time you kissed me and our lips touched so softly, I could feel it. I got the same magical feeling as our first kiss. I could feel it when our hearts get so close they are beating as one. You were so beautiful, In everyway, So amazingly wonderful, I will think of you everyday.
This is so hard to believe, I will miss you so much, All there is to do is grieve, I Can't call, text or touch. I'm sorry Spencer, I love you and I'm sure you are ready to let go.

So hey guys I was going to put in if Spencer dies in or not but if I do it will be really long so please do stay tuned and thank you for dealing with me.