Beetlejuice: The musical lyrics

Fright of their lives

BETELGEUSE:
Okay! Listen up, I'm not gonna lie. Tight now you couldn't frighten a fly. Or scare a seagull off of a fry. You ever stop to ask yourselves "why"?
Both of you are super polite. Middleclass, suburban and white. Well all of that is finished tonight! Except for the white part obviously. Take your places, I want scary faces.
Now go!
Bigger!
Further!
Harder!
Not bad.
Sever a head. Preferably someone you know.

BARBARA (spoken):
Look at me, I'm so scary.

BETELGEUSE:
Don't be so vanilla, would a little enger kill ya? C'on, drop your panties. I'm trying to fill ya with wisdom and skill, and the instinct to kill.

ADAM (spoken):
Again! We do not want to kill anyone!

BETELGEUSE (spoken):
Fine! But somehow, someway, you gotta make 'em see ya. I'm talkin' jump-scares, the jerky Japanese ghost-walk. Plus— learn to trow your voice! Fool your friends! Fun at parties!

ADAM (spoken):
Now, THAT's cool. I wanna do that!

BETELGEUSE:
Whatever it takes to make 'em go crazy. Raising the stakes by punching a baby. Scare 'em awake, 'till they break! They'll be quaking in fright.
'Cause you've got some evil deep down inside you, put all the farmer's markets behind you. You've gotta work, gotta haunt 'till it hurts trough the night. And get those guys the fright of their lives!
Yeah! Yeah!

Let's start with things that you hate.

ADAM:
Hate's a very strong word.

BARBARA:
Perhaps when people are late?

ADAM:
Or getting pooped on by birds?

BETELGEUSE;
No, what fills you with rage?

BARBARA:
Being mean to a pet.

ADAM:
Chefs who use too much safe when they make beurre noisette.

BARBARA:
Over-glutinous food

BETELGEUSE:
Right...

ADAM:
Or when kids call me "dude"!

BETELGEUSE:
Sure...

BARBARA:
Ow i find that so rude.

BETELGEUSE:
Well, there's lots there to use. Take a deep breath and give me your best primal scream.

BARBARA:
Aaaaah!

ADAM (spoken):
Barbara that was brilliant!

BARBARA (spoken):
Really?

BETELGEUSE:
Try it again, maybe this time pretent like you mean it.

BARBARA:
Aaauuuuh!

ADAM (spoke):
That was even better!

BARBARA (spoken):
Thanks!

BETELGEUSE:
I want freedom, but to get my freedom, I need them, to get a living person to say my name.

ADAM AND BARBARA:
Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse?

BETELGEUSE:
I know that beggars can't be choosers. But did they have to be such losers? Both of them are deathly dull and lame!

ENSEMBLE:
Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!

BETELGEUSE:
Why God-slash-Satan dis you send these bed wetters? Even, like, a tax attorney would have been better! Somebody with gravitas, somebody to fear who-

ADAM:
Excuse me, Mr. Betelgeuse, we can kind of hear you.

BETELGEUSE (spoken):
Yeah? Well that was a soliloquy. So you're the one who's being rude.

(Sung):
Whatever it takes to make 'em go crazy.

BARBARA:
Turn all the lights on!

ADAM:
Dress like a baby.

BETELGUESE:
Adam, I don't even... no! Get your heads in the game!

ADAM AND BARBARA:
Let's hide their phones!

BETELGUESE (ADAM AND BARBARA):
Screw their phones! Ugh, these dopes are both homeless. How will i ever survive? Unless they get the fright of their lives!
(Yes, yes, we're feelin' it, they're gonna feel it. We're killin' it!)
They gotta get the fright of their lives!
(We're scary, very very scary!)
They'll never get the fright of their lives!
(Yeah!)
Ugh!