ᴅᴇꜰɪᴀɴᴄᴇ - ɴᴀɴᴏᴡʀɪᴍᴏ 2019

02

After I returned from the forest it was already late evening and dinner was being served at the temple. I decided to join for once, since it already has been quite a while since my last proper meal, other than my secret pastry stash, that I had hidden in the drawer that had my shirts in. I ate it all the same day the final date for the ritual was announced... I still get melancholic thinking back at that day. My 1750. birthday should be my last day. Planned was, that I "die" the exact time I was born in, to have that perfect cycle of life. I found it stupid at first, yet it resonated with me. It gave me that feeling of closure for some odd reason only the gods could explain.

Anyhow, supper passed by like a second. I barely could remember what I ate as soon as I left the large, outdoors dining area and climbed down the stairs to the main corridor. I usually hated eating here, since I always sat alone. 100 Years ago, when I still lived with my family, meals always were the time for bonding and social interaction. Especially since I rarely saw them after my studies started here, at the priests' quarters. But that changed after I was nearly forced to move here, because my studies had to be so intensive and my family started complaining about my mental health.

But for the first time I didn't bother feeling lonely. I was too distracted by the thought of this idiotic boy... I still wasn't sure what made him so thought-provoking. Probably the mere thought of someone treating me as an equal, and not as some unreachable holy person or stressed out student, made him stick out to me like a sore thumb.

I didn't even feel tired that night, when I changed my clothes for the first time in a week and laid down in my freshly made bed – one of the maids must've changed it whilst I was in the forest. Why am I so worked up by this? What is my mental issue that some dude just says, "you do whatever you want, I do whatever I want" and then I can't think about anything else?

At some point my head just felt numb and I decided to stop thinking about him. It really wasn't such a big thing, right? I can indeed continue with that tiny bit of life I have left without him stuck in my head. That was a fact. The great tree still stands, no matter how strong the storm is, and he was nothing than a mere summer breeze.

I turned my head away from the glorious view upon the wooden ceiling and instead admired Nayhd'äcla at night through my large window, that pretty much made up the entire wall opposite of the door. I loved looking at the city at night. It was the only thing I was overwrought about when moving here, because I had a better view of the beauty that hid in this place. I also could see the house of my family, just on the tree to the far left of my sight, and that always comforted me, since I wasn't allowed to see any of them anymore.

With a sigh I turned around again, now facing the rest of my room. I hated to think about my family. It always got me thinking about how terribly my life was.

What an awesome evening to think about stuff. First, I think about an awkward encounter that destroyed my view upon the world for a few seconds and then I think about my family, that has already moved back into the northern mountains, because they were exiled. Great.

I closed my eyes again, trying to imagine the forest scenery before that boy showed up. Golden beams of sunlight, birds singing in the distance, wind in the leaves and my feet in the pond. I dove into that imaginary scenery and concentrated on my breathing, since that always helped me falling asleep. It did indeed take a while, but I finally drifted away into the realm of dreams.

* * *

I woke up to someone opening my door. Angry steps walked over to my bed and stood there, knowing that I was awake. A bit scared I turned around in bed and looked up at the irritated face of Echadben, my lector and somewhat the person who is responsible for me.